Page 32 of Behind the Lights

Lucas wrapped his arms around my neck, standing on his tiptoes. “But you love me and you know it,” he said before kissing me.

I smacked his ass as our lips parted. “Come on, let’s go to dinner.” I always gave in to him. I didn’t understand the power he had over me. And I hated the riff between him and my bandmates, but he seemed unaffected by it and as long as that was the case, I should learn to let it go.

We hopped into his Toyota Camry and headed north out of the city up I-5 toward Everett. And of course, he chose a restaurant in his price range rather than one in mine. Had he opted for the other we’d be eating at Ivar’s instead of a high-end seafood restaurant with waterfront views.

Entering, I could feel all eyes turn my way because I stood out like a sore thumb here. I’d released my hair from the band I had it in, so my long, wavy auburn locks flowed freely down my back. My torn jeans, black sleeveless Metallica concert shirt and heavy black boots thudded as I crossed their pristine hardwood floors. I supposed the smattering of tattoos decorating my left arm and my lip piercings only added to the disgust clearly written on their disapproving faces.Evidently, they hadn’t heard the phrase never judge a book by its cover.

I placed my hand at the small of Lucas’s back as the hostess led us to our seats. The restaurant wasn’t overly busy, which allowed us to snag a table by the window with a great view of the sound right as sun began to set. Ever since I could remember, I was drawn to watching the sunset over the water. There was something calm and soothing seeing the golden spectrum transitioning into fiery oranges and blushing pink hues as it slowly faded into the darkness of night.

“Joey?” Lucas’s voice snapped me from my Zen.

“Ugh, sorry.” I looked up and saw the waiter standing beside me with pen and paper in hand.

“What would you like to drink, sir?” he asked what I am assuming was for the second time.

“Just water for now, thanks.” I sat my menu down as he walked away and turned to Lucas. “Wow, that was a stellar sunset.”

“Mmm hmm,” he mumbled, still looking at the menu.

“Lucas.” I wasn’t sure what was going on today, but his lack of care for my feelings grated on my last nerve.

“What?” he asked, taking a sip of his water.

“Why are we still together?”Filter removed…

“Because our crazy schedules work for us without anyone getting pissy when the other doesn’t have time to see them. From a business standpoint, we work well together,” he informed me.

I tossed my napkin down and started to stand, his hand snaked around my wrist, drawing my attention back to him. “That’s it huh?” My heart was in this one hundred percent, but obviously his wasn’t.Business standpoint my ass.

“Sit, you’re being a big baby,” he complained. “Please, Joey. You know I love you and I know you love me. Now can we get back to dinner, I’m starving.”

It felt like my chest had been filleted and my heart was on the table for the gawking eyes to laugh and poke at. I’d told him multiple times over the years that I loved him. Occasionally, he would mumble it back, but never had he said it as clearly as he did just then. But did I believe his words or were they only said to sate me?

Right as I sat back down, the waiter reappeared. He must have been waiting around the corner to see how this played out before approaching us. “Are you gentlemen ready to order?”

“Yes,” Lucas said, “I’ll take the lobster alfredo with a bowl of the clam chowder.” He handed his menu to the waiter.

“Very good,” he said before turning to me, “And for you, sir?”

“Burger, rare with fries.” I handed him my menu but never took my eyes off Lucas.

“What?” he asked when he finally looked up and saw me staring at him.

“It’s just. Fuck, never mind.” I didn’t know how to verbalize what I was feeling let alone thinking, so it was better to let it go. Again.

“I forgot to tell you, my dad has a friend who manages bands. His son Easton goes to UDub with me and he’s grooming him to manage a band or two. They’re looking to take on more clients. I gave him your number but here’s his card.” He pulled the card from his wallet and handed it to me.

“Thanks, but Brett manages us.” I took the card, but wasn’t sure why he was mentioning this.

“You guys are starting to get a lot of attention locally as well as on social media. With your first CD on the brink of release, life is going to go from zero to a hundred before you know it. Brett has a new baby on the way and he’s going to have a lot on his plate. Talk to the guys about it and if you’re interested give him a call and see what he has to say. I had Easton in some of my marketing classes, he’s a smart guy, but on a personal level I don’t really know him. He keeps to himself, kind of quiet and reserved.” He picked up his spoon, digging into the bowl of chowder the waiter had delivered.

The remainder of our meal consisted of me listening to Lucas talk about school and his plans after. He too would be going into business with his father, but I noticed there wasn’t one mention of where I fit into his life plan.

“Thanks for dinner,” Lucas told me once we were back inside his car.

“No problem, want to head back to my place for a while?” I asked as I snapped my seatbelt in place.

“Sounds good to me, but I can’t stay late I’ve got shit to do tomorrow,” he said, looking over his shoulder as he backed out of the parking space.

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