Page 3 of Behind the Lights

You can’t defeat

Blood Brothers

We’ll be together… ‘til the very end

The very end

The very end

‘Til the very fucking end

There’s nothing like opening your first headlining tour in the place where you were born and raised. The mosh pit was jam packed with security detail surrounding the fenced in area, checking each and every wristband before letting anyone enter. I remember those days, the freeing feeling of relentlessly pounding away your aggressions – but now in a somewhat controlled environment. There were a couple of times the pits we were in when we were younger weren’t monitored and shit got out of control. But one thing we insisted on, was protecting our fans so we ensured security was tight in the pit areas at all our concerts. We even went so far as to make it a requirement in the contracts our management signed with each venue.

Washington State, this is where our band, Social Sinners was conceived. The four of us grew up together and formed the band our junior year of high school in Everett. Me – Joseph“Joey”Hayes, I’m the lead vocalist and back up guitarist. My best friend Ricky“Stoli”Branson is our lead guitarist, our bassist is Mick“Mickey”Payne and the master of the skins, is our drummer Ethan“Diamond”Taylor. We’re a tight knit group. We fight like brothers, we love like brothers, we share like brothers. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. Blood Brothers for all intents and purposes is the mantra we live by. You fuck with one of us, well then, you’ve fucked with all of us. Enough said.

Stoli and I have been best friends since kindergarten, hell probably even before that. I can’t remember a day gone by without him in it. Mickey and Diamond, we met our freshman year of high school in band class. The four of us merged into the same social pariah group. Gangly teens who didn’t play sports, were socially inept, could give two shits less about being a part of the cool kids’ groups, skinny as rails and DGAF –didn’t give a fuck. And to top it off, three out of four of us were gay. Basically, we were Social Sinners, hence the band name.

Chapter

One

Summer, 1995

Sitting on the front stoop of our house in Everett, I was listening to my parents fighting, yet once again. This had become a daily occurrence in the Hayes household. With my baseball and glove in hand, I sat there tossing the ball up to myself and catching it while waiting for my dad to play with me like he’d promised me the night before. But I’d finally resigned to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen, at least not for today.

The sounds of slamming doors and my parents screams echoed down the desolate street. I could practically hear it bouncing off the walls of the surrounding houses. My mom yelling that my dad wasa worthless piece of shitwhile he retaliated withmother of the year you’ll never fucking be. At this point, neither of them would win any parent of the year awards. They obviously didn’t care that the front door was wide open for the gawking neighbors to hear their idiotic ramblings. But for me, the worst part was knowing that Ricky and his mom could hear everything through the open windows of their house next door.

We’ve known each other all our lives, Ricky and me that is. Our moms were childhood friends and hung out from time to time, drinking and reminiscing about their high school days and what not. My mom would stumble home drunk and pass out on the couch afterwards, while Ricky’s mom would be the one to feed us and put us to bed. Both my parents drank and argued, relentlessly, but they never physically abused me. I don’t ever remember being spanked even one time. Unfortunately, they did often seem to forget I existed. Sometimes the emotional pain from that seemed harder to get past than the physical might have been. Ricky’s mom never ignored either one of us, even though I wasn’t her blood relative. To me, she acted the way I thought a real mom should act. But what did I know.

After listening to their incessant bickering for far too long, I decided to head next door, but was stopped when my mom barreled through the front door – suitcases in hand, and the screen door slamming shut behind her.

“Where are we going?” I stood, ready to follow her down the steps.

“Joey, you know your momma loves you. Right?” She stopped, patting me on the top of my head.

I nodded but wasn’t sure I really did know that. “Are we going to the store?” I headed toward the car.

“Joey, stop. I need to talk to you.” Something in her voice told me I wasn’t going to like what she had to say. “I don’t belong here. I’ve tried my best, tried to make it work, but your daddy and me are not good for each other. I... I gotta go,” she said, walking around to the back of the car.

“Mommy, wait for me!” I yelled, trailing behind her.

“No Joey, you can’t go with me. Stay here with your daddy. You two take care of each other.” After putting her suitcases in the trunk, she leaned over, kissing my forehead. “You’ll be all right Joey.” The creaking of the car door as she pulled it closed behind her, was a sound that would forever be imbedded in my memory.

I stood in the driveway, crying as I watched my mother drive away. Without me. I thought she’d come back, but she never did.

“Joey?” my dad called out from inside the house.

Hurriedly, I wiped away my tears with the top of my shirt before heading in. “Coming Dad.”

“Have a seat, son.” He gestured to my usual chair at the kitchen table. “We need to talk.” Dad took the seat beside me. “Your mom’s gone so it’s just gonna be you and me kiddo.” He reached over, ruffling my hair.

Sniffling, I asked, “When’s she coming home?”

The mournful look in his eyes told me all I needed to know before his words filled the silence surrounding us. “She isn’t coming back, Joey.”

I took off running out the front door with my father yelling my name behind me. My heart was pounding, and the tears flowing were unstoppable. She wasn’t the best mom by any means, but she was still my mom and I wanted her back. Stopping in Ricky’s front yard, I bent over beneath the big tree we often climbed, to try and catch my breath. Wrapping my arms around myself, I fell to my knees. My lonely cries consumed me. But I wasn’t alone for very long, Ricky and his mom came running out to see what was going on.

At some point, my dad had come out and called Ricky’s mother over to talk to her. Ricky was my best friend and as always, was right by my side trying to console me.

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