Page 54 of Reaper Flame

“Why do you want to stay, Candy?” he asked again.

“I’m not in the mood to party,” I lied, continuing to clean him up as noisy water bounced off the basin. We didn’t speak again until I asked gently, “When did it start? Those aren’t fresh scars.”

“I was five years old the first time my father used the belt,” Zander said, surprising me by answering the question. “Pain is punishment, and I deserve to be punished for what I did. I went against the Seven code and everything we stand for.”

I already knew Bryce was a total fucking monster, but this only made me hate him more. Who could do that to a fucking child? Apart from when he told me about what happened to his mother, Zander never let anyone know what he was thinking. He lived like each day was a battle. He gave orders to his soldiers and wore his armor, but he let no one see the war he waged against himself beneath.

“Zander—”

“I don’t want or need your pity,” he snarled.

“I’m not giving it,” I snapped back. “If I wanted to hurt you, I could come up with more imaginative ways to do it.”

“You’re missing the point,” Zander said, clenching his fists as I scrubbed a wound roughly. “This isn’t just about pain. Pain is my release, but I could take a hundred more lashes, and it still wouldn’t be enough for what I did.”

I looked at his scars and bloody back, struggling to see anything else. “If it’s not about pain, what is it about?”

“Control,” Zander replied. “Until you came into our lives, I controlled everything: the Sevens, our business, how I inflict my punishments. I made a deal with Hiram for the future of the gang because it’s the only way I could see our lives without him in it, but it didn’t turn out how I hoped. I was wrong.”

Zander admitting he was wrong was almost as unlikely as being able to kill Hiram and walk out alive.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your plans?”

“To make it more convincing,” he replied.

Bullshit. I wrung the cloth and watched his blood swirl down the plughole. “We both know I’m a good enough actress to have pulled it off,” I said. “That’s no excuse, and you fucking know it. There’s more to it.”

A long silence stretched out.

“Because I wanted to be the one to save you,” Zander whispered. “You were never meant to be with him for more than a few hours. A day, at the most. I arranged for you to be intercepted, but everything changed. I misjudged what you and Red were willing to do for each other. It changed everything. The only hope I held onto was knowing I’d shown you the way out of Briarly Manor in case of an emergency. I had to find a way to get you there.”

“Hang on, let me get this straight, you put my life at risk because you wanted to be a fucking savior?” I threw down the cloth, abandoning my role as a nurse. “You’re unbelievable!”

“I underestimated your loyalty to us,” he said, his voice thickening with emotion as he turned to face me. “I let you down. All of you. ”

I put my hands on my hips. “Is this your attempt at saying sorry?”

“I’m not going to insult you by apologizing,” Zander replied. Maybe he understood me more than I thought. “Words won’t change the past or what I’ve done. I know what I did was unforgivable.”

“Then why didn’t you leave me with him?” My nostrils flared. “Why bring me here if you knew I’d hate you for it?”

“My destiny is already sealed, but yours isn’t,” he said, a far-off look flitted over his face as he stared past me. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to be nothing like my father. But after what I did to you, I’m no better. I can’t escape it.”

His chin dipped, allowing me to see the vulnerabilities he hid from the world.Don’t feel sorry for him, Candy!I cursed myself.This is the time to agree and crush him!

But I couldn’t. The man before me gave me a glimpse of the person he used to be. A boy who loved his mom and sacrificed his future for a half-sister he didn’t know. That’s not something you’d do if you didn’t have a heart... even if it was buried under a steely and ruthless exterior.

“If you were like your father, you wouldn’t have given me the choice to leave,” I reminded him gently.

Bryce killed people who stepped out of line. He would rather they die than leave him behind or go against his orders.

Zander grabbed my arm. His sudden touch scorched my skin like his fingertips were made of flames, but he didn’t let go.

“After we kill Hiram, I want you to leave,” he said. His eyes burned into mine with a deep intensity that made me dizzy. “I want you to get as far away from the Sevens as you can. I’ll give you all the money you need.”

“You’ll pay me to disappear?” My voice shook. If it’s what I wanted, why did my chest ache? “Why go through all this effort only to send me away?”

“This isn’t the life I want for you,” he murmured. “If you are around us for too long, we’ll destroy you.I’lldestroy you.”

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