Page 25 of Hawke

“Listen, Dede–”

“Dede? Where did you get that?” I laughed. His face flushed red, and he rubbed his hand down his face.

“I dunno, wanted to give you a nickname. Doesn’t matter,” he grumbled. “Anyway, listen, we can’t be anything more than friends, do you hear me? I have jobs, responsibilities; it’s against the brother code.”

My mood faltered, but I kept the smile on my face. “I understand. You have a big job to do. Protecting all those people. But it’s probably best if you stay away then, because even if you’re a big grumpy biker, I might fall for your charm.”

Hawke rolled onto his back, rubbing his bald head. “Ha, right, okay. I get it. I can’t help it I’m fucking sexy as hell.” He ran his hands over his wet t-shirt.

And yum, he looked good.

I cleared my throat, stopping myself from ogling. Hawke was unobtainable, but having him here in my bed was too good to pass up. What would it be like to feel those lips?

The urge was so strong, and I’ve never had a high sex drive. But lord have mercy on me, he was everything I liked. A grumpy exterior with a soft side. He proved that by cuddling up in bed with me when he could have left me to fend for myself.

“Since we can’t be more than friends, and you won’t be visiting anymore, can I ask you something a little personal?”

Hawke raised his eyebrow, a smirk forming on his lips. “Anything, Sunshine.”

“Oh, two nicknames.” I raised my fingers. “I must be really special then!” I snorted.

He smiled, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

I licked my lips, my legs pressing together. “Can I have just one kiss? To know what it’s like?”

Because I’d never had a kiss that wasn’t forced, and with how sweet Hawke was being right now, I wanted to know what it was like. To get a taste of the forbidden fruit before throwing it away and never looking back.

Hawke’s eyes darkened, his breath shallow. “Just one,” he said huskily. “Because this can’t happen again, I can’t have feelings for you, not in my line of work.”

I nodded, and he sat up quickly. He stared at my lips, licking his own before gripping the back of my head and tightly gripping my hair. Hawke pulled me forward, his lips softly touching mine.

An explosion of light broke behind my eyes, and I knew it wasn’t from the lightning outside. This was inside me, sparking an event that would forever change us. I knew this man could only be my friend. I could only see him from afar, but deep down in my soul, I felt we should be more.

His tongue slid into my mouth. The beautiful massage between us became heated. My arms wrapped around him as the kiss deepened. I moaned, and the rumble in his chest intensified.

I gasped for air and his face softened. I felt a wave of sadness as we both parted.

“Wow,” I said, touching his face.

He didn’t reply, just tracing my lips with his finger.

The loud alarm startled me and, I sit up straight in bed. My first instinct was to battle the clock by swatting it. I rubbed my eyes, the puffiness in my cheeks was still there despite the exorbitant amount of natural sleep aids I took.

There wasn’t a storm last night, but the bustling lights of the city only reminded me of the lightning piercing the sky. The sirens that wailed, the horns that honked, it all blended together to bring in the perfect blend of nightmares.

I laid awake for I don’t know how long, replaying the first time Hawke came to me during my first week living at the Iron Fang apartments. Now I was regretting leaving, because seeing him calmed me.

How could that be possible to be so angry with someone yet want them at the same time? I hated what he’d done to me, how he’d made me rely on him. It was some sort of game to him. Take a kiss, leave me wanting, and then go back to his life like he didn’t care.

I acted quickly and yanked the covers away from myself and then immediately reached for the bottle of water on the bed.

I’d arrived two days ago, and with great luck, found a job at an upscale breakfast, brunch, and lunch restaurant called The Atlas. The only reason I was hired was because they were short staffed. They didn’t even ask for references, which was a good thing because I couldn’t give them any.

I wasn’t about to have my cover blown by them calling the Iron Fang, and leaving the diner without notice would not fare well with me.

I showered and dressed. It was nearly five a.m., and I was due to be there soon. Luckily, it wasn’t a terribly long walk. Luck was on my side when I arrived a few days ago. I was ready to stay busy and forget everything about the tattoo and pierced biker.

The more time ticked by, the angrier I became, not because of what he had done to me, but because the aching hole in my heart was no longer filled. I was certain that we shared something special, and that was why I’d stayed for so long. That he would retire, and we could eventually be together.

---