“No, go away. Don’t need you,” she cried.
My heart broke further.
“But Sunshine, I need you,” I pleaded. “Please let me help, please let me take care of you, I’m so sorry for leaving, I shouldn’t have.”
Delilah clutched her bear tighter, her eyes squeezed shut.
“N-no.” She shook again, and then let out a strangled cry.
Fuck, I had to take her. It was hurting me too much.
I pulled off my cut and my ripped shirt, leaving me in nothing but my jeans. The more skin-to-skin contact we had, the quicker she would get better. She wouldn’t feel the pain as much while she recovered. And like hell did I want her to feel this pain anymore.
She still had her eyes shut, and I gently picked her up off the floor. She cried out again, as if my touch hurt her.
“Shh, sunshine, it’s okay. I’ve got you now. I’m never leaving you. I came back, see? I found you.”
Delilah wrapped one arm around my neck, her face buried in my chest as I took her to the bed. I sat up by the headboard, slowly rocking back and forth. I didn’t know what else to do. Treating her like a baby seemed the only way that made me feel better.
“Dede, talk to me.” I sniffed, my own tears beginning to run down my cheeks. “It’s going to get better now, I promise.”
“I feel so much,” she cried. “I feel everything.”
“I know, Dede, I know. And when you feel better, I’ll tell you what’s happening, okay? But I need you to trust me. Just one more time. When I left earlier, I had to make sure we were safe, and we are. We are going to be just fine. Just trust me.”
“Don’t want to.” Her pouty voice was muffled by my shoulder.
I chuckled, the pain finally subsiding.
“I know you don’t, but if I promise to let you kick me in the nuts, will you?”
Delilah was silent for a long time, then she nodded.
Chapter Twenty
Delilah
Hawke’sembracesuggestedthatI was more delicate than a newborn. His fingers moved gently through my hair as his lips lingered on my forehead, the warmth of his breath calming my nerves. He rocked me slowly, the sound of his humming and gentle purring creating a soothing atmosphere that lulled me into a relaxed state.
I loved the feeling. I felt my emotions—the overwhelming feeling of drowning, falling down a rabbit hole and then being sucked into the vortex of a black hole—subside.
Before he arrived, I thought I was dying. Breathing was nearly impossible, my chest constricted, and the only bit of comfort I found was the teddy bear that had the faintest scent of Hawke. It was both a blessing and a curse because it made me want him more when part of me wanted to stay angry.
Hawke didn’t act without a good reason. It’s how he protected every server at the bar. He watched, he prepared, he took calculated precision when he had to escort or throw customers out of the bar so no one else got hurt. We were all protected. I felt safer with him than at any other time in my life.
So why did I have to get emotional about it? It was the ultimate spaz moment, bringing back old feelings buried so deep I never thought I would have to deal with them again.
And now it was all a distant memory. I felt so much better.
I sighed heavily into his chest. His bare chest, mind you. He had a sprinkling of dark hair over tattoos, along with his nipple piercings. I’d never seen him without a shirt, and I cursed myself for not making him take me to a pool, so I could check out all this hotness.
I ran my hand over his chest, feeling the muscles so large that I swore I could feel the sinews between each fibrous thread. His purr-like rumble radiated deeper, making my muscles to feel like puddy. As I pressed my cheek against his skin, I felt the warmth radiating off him, a tangible reminder of the affection he continued to give me.
How long had I wanted this? For him to hold me? To not worry when he would run away?
For a long time, I felt worthless. That I was never quite good enough for him.
“I’m so sorry I said those awful things to you that night,” he said.