Page 28 of Loathe Thy Neighbor

I purse my lips. “Yes, because I brought Ashton Kutcher here to screw with you and not to screw him myself. In your dreams, idiot.”

“That would be inyourdreams.”

I huff, and Lucy laughs.

“Oh, yes.” She smashes her lips together, trying to hold in a grin. “This is going to work out perfectly.”

“I want a contract.” I point at her. “Like a good one. A legit one. Something that’s going to keep that menace from freeloading off me for the rest of his days.”

“There are so many things wrong with that statement. The first one is that you actually thinkI’mthe menace.”

“You’re the one who plays music way too loud! That’s exactly what got you into this mess!”

“No, what got me into this mess was you waltzing over to my apartment looking sexy in nothing but a freaking towel.”

“Did you just call mesexy?”

“You were wearing a towel, River. A. Towel! I’m a man—I’d think Lucy was sexy in a towel!” Dean winces. “I mean, no offense, Lucy. It’s just…you’re as old as my grandmother…”

“None taken.” She waves her hand. “But just so you know, I look damn sexy in a towel.”

She waggles her brows, and Dean’s eyes grow to twice their usual size.

“I-I…” He flounders, trying to find the right words to say. “I…umm…”

Lucy ignores Dean being…well, Dean.

“You can have your contract, River. I will start working on it tonight and get everything squared away tomorrow morning. What needs to happen now is everyone getting back to their apartments and getting on with their day. You two need to rest. You’ve had a long day, and a good night’s rest is certainly in order.” She smiles slyly. “It may be a few people’s last chance at that.”

I groan.

“Why do I absolutely hate the way that sounds?”

“Because, dear, I’m likely right. Now, let me get everything wrapped up with those nice firefighters and we’ll all be back inside before we know it. Be right back.”

Lucy scurries away, leaving me and Dean alone.

Which I guess I should get used to becauseapparentlyhe’s going to be living with me now.

Why did I say he could stay with me? Why couldn’t I just keep my big mouth shut? Damn Leo for making me feel bad.

I glare at the turtle, who looks not so happy about being back in his hut.

“Don’t give him evil eyes. He didn’t do anything to you.”

“Because he’s a turtle, not a person.”

“He has plenty of personality, which is more than I can say for you.” He sneers at me.

“I amfullof personality—and sparkling personality at that. I’m a fucking ray of sunshine.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that.”

“Is that how you’re choosing to talk to me? The person who is kind enough to allow you to live in her apartment when you have a history of arson?”

Dean works his jaw back and forth. He wants to say something snarky, but he bites his tongue.

Smart man.

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