Page 18 of Here's to Tomorrow

One word—secrets.That’s all it takes and suddenly I now want to knowallher secrets. Every last one. I want to knowher, want to get close to her—no, Ineedto get close to her.

But should I? Should I drag her into what’s going on in my life? Can I do that to Joey? Can I let a stranger into our lives like that?

For her, I think I could.

You should probably start by getting her number, jackass.

“Listen, Rae…” I start.

“Yo, Rae! You have food, honey!” the guy behind the counter hollers, interrupting me.

She turns around and holds up her finger, telling him she’ll be a minute. Spinning back to me, she squints, waiting for me to continue. I guess I’ve lost all courage because I don’t say anything. The corners of her mouth tip down briefly. “Well, duty calls, boys. Flag me down if you need anything.”

Then she disappears.

“Fuckin’ pussy,” Tucker mumbles next to me.

I groan because he’s right. Iama pussy. I could have had her number ten times over now if I would just man up, but it’s hard. I’ve been out of the flirting-and-dating game for quite some time, so I kind of forgot how to play it.

What if I’m not ready yet? IthinkI am, but what if this is a sign? Should I just put aside the way she makes me laugh, makes my heart skip? Or how her smile makes me want to tell shitty jokes all day long just to get the corners of her mouth to turn up even a fraction?

If eventhinkingabout dating is this stressful, there’s no way I’d survive an actual date.Fuck. I am so screwed.

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