Page 115 of Here's to Tomorrow

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Hudson

The moment I laid eyes on her sitting there in her sweatpants and t-shirt, all curled up into herself, I knew I was making the right decision.

Perry called me the other day to tell me everything he knew about Rae’s mom and how Haley and Ted hid it from her for years, letting her believe it was nothing but a recurring nightmare. He told me she hadn’t spoken to either of them—or him—since the Wednesday after the beach.

I get it, and I completely understand her silence toward them. I’d be pissed too. Hell, Iampissed, but I also understand why they did it—at least Ted’s involvement. He did what he thought was right to protect her. I’d do the same for Joey.

I just wish I had told her earlier that I didn’t blame her for any of it, because seeing her like this hurts. And then I hear her talking to her mom? My heart broke. She seems so sad, so lonely. I don’t like it.

I give her a small smile and motion to the spot next to her. She scoots over, so I fold myself down and stare out at the lake with her.

She’s not doing well in the breathing department. Every breath sounds harsh.

“I don’t blame you, Rae.”

Her body shakes as she starts to cry. “You should, Hudson. You really, really should.”

“How can I? You can’t help what happened in your past.Anyonethat has to face a traumatic event like that would break. It wasn’t you out there, and I understand that. I promise, I’m not mad at you, Rae.”

She sniffles, wiping at her face. “Then why haven’t you called or anything?”

“Because I’m horribly pissed atmyself,” I admit on a sigh.

“But…but why?Youdidn’t do anything wrong. Hell, yousavedher!”

“I knew something was off before I left you with her. You were clammy the previous day and wouldn’t look out at the water for more than a few seconds without breaking into a sweat,” I tell her. “I should have known she would talk you into taking her down to the beach, and that’s the last position I should have put you in. You weren’t ready to face it on your own, and that’sokay, Rae. It really is. It’s my fault for making you face that on your own, and I’m sorry.”

I peek over at her. She’s staring at me with her mouth hanging open. I reach over with two fingers and close it for her.

“Flies, Rae.”

Shesmiles.

Shesmiles.

In that instant, my world becomes whole again.

“I can’t…I can’t believe you blame yourself. That’s kind of ridiculous.”

I wink. “Ditto.”

She huffs out a breath. “Well, aren’t we quite the duo.”

We sit in silence for several minutes, just staring out at the lake and trying to absorb all this…well, all this shit. It’s been a wild ride from the beginning with Rae, and when you add in these last two weeks, it’s been pure fucking chaos.

We needed the quiet, needed the break.

But we need each other more.

“I’m sorry, Hudson. So,sosorry.”

I shake my head and swallow thickly. “I know you are, Rae, and I know now it truly wasn’t anyone’s fault. My mom kind of made me realize that.”

She buries her face in her hands and groans. “She knows?”

“Of course. She’s not mad you. Promise.”

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