Page 12 of Here's to Tomorrow

I’m not a giddy kind of guy, not about this sort of shit.

“Dude, Hudson, what the fuck are we doing here?” Tanner spouts off in his obnoxiously loud voice.

I’ve never been fond of the guy. He rubs me the wrong way and gives off this asshole vibe—not the fun asshole everyone secretly wishes they could be, like Tucker, but the asshole that’s…sleazy? Yeah, that fits him. A part of me thinks it’s a front, like he’s trying to hide the real him for some weird macho reasons, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t come off that way all the time. I think it’s more alienating than anything else.

What’s the part that keeps him around? For starters, he’s Tucker’s older brother so we kind of have to. Also, he’s a soldier, and no matter how much of a dick he is, you don’t fucking ditch soldiers because they keep your ass free.

“Wing night, man!” Tucker shouts, saving me from having to explain to Tanner that we’re here for a girl. Then he shoots me a look, telling me not to let his brother know of my interest in Rae.

How does Tucker know? Easy. He’s my best friend and can read me better than evenIcan sometimes. He knows something’s up and that I’ve been off my game for the last two weeks because all I can seem to think about is Rae when I’m not supposed to be thinking of anyone other than Joey right now.

It’s almost scary how well Tuck knows me. We’ve been there for each other since we were fifteen. He moved into the oldest, most beat-up house in the neighborhood and some kids started giving him crap for it. That didn’t last too long after I took him under my wing and he ended up whooping those kids’ asses. It was hilarious watching those little hoodlums run away from a kid half their size, because they totally deserved it.

Since then, he’s been glued to my side, sticking with me through all the shit that’s been thrown at me—and it’s been some deep shit considering I became a father when I was still in high school.

I look back over to where I last saw Rae just in time to watch her walk out of the darkened hallway. My eyes follow her as she carefully avoids our table to drop the soda off about five tables away.

She must know the people sitting there, because she seems to be cozy with one of the guys. Touching his shoulder, she bursts into fits of laughter and I swear my heart stops.

I’m not sure if it’s because she’s touching some other guy with obvious familiarity or if it’s her laugh. It’s breathtaking. I’ve never known a laugh to be breathtaking before, but Rae’s is.

The fact that I don’t even know this girl and I’m so damn drawn to her scares the crap out of me. I’ve never—and I mean never—been so tuned in to another person before. It’s fascinating—and terrifying, because I’m in a difficult place in life. I have a daughter to think about, so I have to play my cards carefully. No matter how drawn I am to Rae, no matter how badly I want to march over there, drop to my knees, and beg her to date me, I can’t. I have to make sure she’s worthy of Joey first, worthy of being in our lives.

And, of course, if she’s game to date a single father.

Before I can even clear my head and start breathing again, she’s standing in front of me. Tucker throws an elbow into my side and I snap out of my haze then exhale.

“Hey, what can I get you boys tonight?”

We all start talking at once.

“Dr. Pepper.”

“Coke.”

“Sam Adams.”

“Water.”

She blinks rapidly and then repeats it back to us. We all nod like idiots. “Great! I’ll be right back with those drinks.”

“Isn’t that the same chick you were checking out when we first got here, Hudson?” Tanner asks once Rae’s out of earshot. He noticed.Awesome.

“I wasn’t checking her out. She just looks familiar. I think we did a job for her a few weeks ago.”

I look to Tucker, hoping he’ll go along with me. He dips his head, letting me know he understands. Then I eyeball Gaige, my other best friend, letting him know too. He shrugs and goes back to picking apart the napkin he’s been playing with.

Gaige is very…quiet. He comes off as shy, but he’s not; he just chooses his words carefully, and I completely respect that. Words are important, and he’s not into wasting them. He’s been this way for as long as I can remember. He’s the prettiest asshole among us, but doesn’t use his charm, like Tucker does, or attempt to, like Tanner does. It’s not his style. When I met him at seventeen, I thought he was moody and antisocial. After getting to know him better, I realized he’s just thoughtful, and a damn good friend.

“We did. Transmission, right?”Thank you, Tucker.

“Yep!” Gaige pipes in.

These dudes are lifesavers.

Once Tanner catches wind of anything of this sort, he doesn’t just let it go. He’s like a middle schooler all over again.

“Oh, cool.”

He buys my reasoning, but then I realize I’m now going to have to say something to her because if I don’t, he will, and that will end in nothing but disaster.

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