Page 46 of Here's to Tomorrow

13

Hudson

I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful for a bathroom break in my entire life, because I desperately needed this moment to breathe.

I can’t decide if it’s cool or weird that we have the same favorite bandandmovie. I also can’t decide if I should be worried that we get along as well as we do, that this date is going almosttoowell. We click—so well that I’m certain I’m going to mess it up with the simplest thing.

I very well could. If she found out about me being a father, it could send her running for the hills. I’m not trying to hide my kid, because I’m not ashamed of being a father to a seven-year-old, but I’m not ready to tell Rae just yet. This is only our second date. What if she wants to meet her? I’m not ready for that. Joey isn’t ready for that. Joey doesn’t even know about Rae.

And then something major hits me.

I’m on a date. An actual fucking date.

I haven’t dated in…too long, not since that one random chick who walked out on the date as soon as I mentioned being a father two or so years ago. It could be why I won’t tell Rae about Joey yet.

Then again, it could be because I haven’t been involved in anything serious since I was with Jess, Joey’s mom, and that relationship was rocky at best. It wasn’t real, never was. It was held together by a thin thread that snapped and had to be tied back together over and over until we finally ran out of string.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad. I did get Joey out of the deal, and she’s worth all the troubles in the world, but maybe I’m so nervous because I don’t knowhowto date. Am I supposed to kiss her? Hold her hand? Suggest making out on the couch?

Okay, the last one is just wishful thinking, but whatever.

Just be yourself, Hudson. You can do this.

“You ready to quote the most amazing movie ever for the next hour and a half or what?” Rae asks, walking down the hall, putting a stop to my pacing.

Note to self: feel free to put another point in the “Rae is a Fucking Godsend” column on my imaginary list about how awesome she is.

Why are you still talking to yourself! T Swift that shit and shake it off, dude!

I follow my own advice. “The question is, areyouready? I know this movie forward and back so Iwilljudge you if you miss a line.”

“Bring it.” There’s no teasing in her voice.

We spend nearly two hours sitting on the floor, chowing down pizza, and quoting the movie—or at least that’s what I will tell anyone that asks, because I so didn’t do that.

Did I eat some pizza? Sure. As much I normally would have? No. Did I quote the movie? You can’t watchStep Brothersandnotquote it. Was it up to my usual standards? Nope, not even close.

The reason? The incredibly beautiful girl sitting next to me. Every time she laughed, my heart skipped. Every time her lips moved along with the words, my heart skipped. Every time she tried to look over my way nonchalantly,my fucking heart skipped.

I am so completely screwed when it comes to this girl.

The room goes dark as the credits scroll.

“You suck,” Rae tells me.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, you heard me. You. Suck. You didn’t even quote half the movie! I’m judging you, Hudson. Hard.” She’s eyeing me with what I’m sure she thinks is a fierce look. Spoiler alert: it’s not. She kind of looks like an old lady squinting at her bingo cards.

“Hey! I couldn’t concentrate because every time something evenremotelyfunny happened, someone sitting next to me would snort like a damn pig. It was incredibly distracting.” Shewasdistracting, but not for the reasons I’m giving her.

“Yeah, right. My snorting is dead sexy and you know it. Admit it, you’re incredibly turned on right now.”

“True.”

I swear to all things holy, the look that crosses her face is one that can never be replicated because she was not expecting that answer in a million years.

She laughs and shakes her head. “Yeah, definitely wasn’t expecting that.”

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