Page 29 of Here's to Tomorrow

“We’re going to the dog park, Rocky. It’s gonna be so fun!” The door is ajar so I peek inside. Joey has Rocky’s head firmly in her grasp, talking right into his face. Rocky’s full attention is on Joey, and I think it has nothing to do with him being trapped between her little hands. He loves that girl. “So much fun! We went all the time with Pop and Hazard before they went to heaven. Now I get to go with you!”

Joey’s buzzing with excitement as she tells Rocky—who is now curled up watching her run around the room and pull clothes from drawers—stories about how my parents used to take Joey andtheirblack Lab, Hazard, to the dog park all the time.

It makes my heart swell and eyes water because I really miss my dad, but damn does it hurt more that Joey isn’t getting the time with him like I had. It’s not fair. She’s missing out on a lot of good memories with Pop.

Just like I did.

Up until I was just two months shy of being seventeen, I had aflawlessrelationship with my father. Our relationship was more best friends than it was father/son. Then I fucked up—big time. I got my high school girlfriend pregnant.

We were never the same after that.

I ended up moving out for a little over three years because of a big blowout we had once we told everyone the news. My parents could have easily made me move back in since I was still a minor, but I think they saw that I needed to leave for things to get better between my father and me. I want to thank them and hate them for it all at the same time.

When I left home, I met Mr. Horton and started working at Jacked Up. In a way, he saved me. I had no idea what I was doing, and him giving me that job was the best thing I could have asked for. It kept me sane and grounded when I needed it the most. He also stepped in as a father figure of sorts since I wasn’t in the best place with mine. I can never repay him for all he did for me, or my parents for letting me go free, for giving me the chance to meet Horton in the first place.

I had it great with Horton and Jacked up, but life eventually came crashing back down around me and I did move back in with my parents. To my surprise, I was welcomed with open arms by them both. While things weren’t perfect for us, we worked hard on building our relationship again.

As life would have it, just when everything was turning around for us, when things were getting back to where they were before I screwed up, we got “the call”.

Pop had a heart attack while driving and wrecked the car.

He didn’t make it.

I’ve felt guilty for years over our fallout even though I know Pop wouldn’t want me to. He was a great guy. He was kind, patient, and all-around loving. Never so much as raised his voice at mom for anything. All he did was fix random cars out in his garage, cater to the plants, and work for thirty years as an onsite construction manager in the city. He was amazing, so humble, so free-spirited, always making people smile and laugh with the all the random stuff that came pouring out of his mouth.

Now that I think of it, Rae and him would have gotten along well just for that alone.

Wait, no.I can’t do that. I can’t bring Rae into these facets of my life. It’s too soon.

Before the panic can set in, I clear my throat and push open the door. “You ready, kiddo?”

“Need shoes. Come on, Rocky!” Joey races past me and they go bounding downstairs like the best of friends.

I glance around Joey’s room, noting all the stick figure drawings of us together with mom and Rocky. It makes my heart swell for a whole other reason.Damn, my daughter makes me proud.

After taking one last peek around the room, making sure everything is in order, I trudge downstairs after them. I scarf down my pancakes while Joey and Rocky run around the backyard.

“How much sugar did you give her?”

“Only two spoonfuls…after she drowned her pancakes in syrup, of course,” my mom says with an evil smirk.

“That’s it. You’re fired.”

“From being her grandmother?”

“Yes.”

She laughs and pats my arm. “Oh, Hudson. Don’t you know it’s my job to load her up with sweets and send her off with her dad for the day? Gives me time to take a nap. She’ll be going for hours.”

“Yep, definitely fired.”

“My nap is going to be worth it,” she calls as she makes her way upstairs. I grumble under my breath about how evil she is. “I heard that!”

I roll my eyes, because of course she did, and then I gather up my kid.

“Last one to the car is a big fat loser!” I holler out the back door.

“You’re always the loser!” Joey yells back, barreling through the door with Rocky hot on her heels.