“Honestly?” I nod. “Well, I’m not even sure I do. I think I just want a scenery change, really, something new, different. I don’t necessarily want to move to Boston, but I want to movesomewhere…I think. I just want to do some things on my own for once…maybe.”
She might maybe think she wants to leave, but I almost feel as if she feels obligated to do something on her own, and she should understand that it doesn’t really have to be that way.
“That makes sense.”
“Does it?”
“Sure. I can relate. When I was younger, I went through some serious shit I wasn’t ready for. I felt like Ineededto be out on my own, doing my own thing. I tried and failed miserably. That resulted in me moving back home for a couple years. I’ve only been out on my own again for a month. As soon as the place in Pembrooke is done, that’s when shit is going to get real serious, because I’ll definitely be on my own again.”
She’s quiet, almost too quiet.
“So you think I’m going to fail?” Rae asks in a flat voice that leads me to believe she’s not as calm as she’s pretending to be.
“What? No, no, no, no. That’s not at all what I’m saying, Rae. I’m just saying don’t rush it. You’ll know when you’re ready. I don’t really know you that well—”
“You’re right, you don’t know me,” she interrupts, never taking her eyes off the road.
“But I can tell you’re struggling with the decision to leave this town. You don’thaveto. You don’t have to leave to find happiness. You can have it here. You can have your dream career here. You just have to find out what works for you, not what works forthem.”
“Or you. I don’t find it fair you’re telling me what to do—or not do—handing out this advice when you don’t know my situation.”
“I get that, Rae. I truly do,” I try to reason. “But that’s not what I’m trying to do at all. I’m just saying you should do what makesyouhappy. Don’t give in to everyone else, to their dreams or what you feel like is expected of you. Don’t let them tell you what you want.”
“Like you’re trying to do?Youhave no clue at all what I want.”
“Neither do you.”
Then she’s quiet again and I’m man enough to admit I’m a little terrified of her silence.
Finally, she huffs out a breath. “You’re right. I get what you’re saying now. It’s just…it’s a tough subject for me. Idon’tknow what I want. I wish I did, and I wish I didn’t feel like Ihaveto move on to bigger and better things, but I do. But again, you’re right, so, thank you. I’m sorry I was sort of…snippy.”
“Sort of?” I ask, grinning at her.
“Ass.”
Goddamn, I love her mouth.