Page 69 of A Slice of Love

She lifts her shoulders and we press on.

I wish we hadn’t.

Because on the couch are my parents.

Lips locked. Tops off. My dad’s handclearlyup my mother’s skirt.

“MY EYES!” I scream, covering my face so I can’t scar myself with any other images.

“Oh shit! Letica!”

“Harvey! Grab my dress!”

There’s a lot of shuffling and cussing and a whole hell of a lot of humiliation burning through me right now.

Then there’s Frankie, who is standing beside me laughing so hard she’s not making a sound, but I can feel her shaking.

“Knock it off,” I mutter, peeking at her through my hands.

She wipes at her eyes. “Well, I just told half the town you deflowered me. I guess we’re square on embarrassing events to last a lifetime.”

“Deflowered? Jonas Schwartz!” my mother chides. “Youdefloweredour pastor’s daughter?”

I glare at her. “You wereboningmy father in the living room?”

“Actually, there was no boning. You cockblocked me,” my dad helpfully explains.

I groan. “Oh my god.”

“Tell me about it.” My dad stands, extending a hand to Frankie. “Hi. I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced. This is my wife Letica. I’m Harvey.”

I smack his hand away. “Get that out of here. I don’t know where that thing has been.”

“Good heavens, Jonas. It’s not big a deal. We’ve clearly had sex before.”

“Twice. In my mind, you’ve ever only had sex twice.”

My mother rolls her eyes, and my father tries not to laugh.

“Come on,” I say, ignoring them and grabbing Frankie’s hand. “We’re going upstairs.”

She laughs, giving my parents a wave as I tug her toward the staircase.

“It was great meeting you, Frankie,” my father says.

“Keep the door open!” my mother hollers when we reach the top of the steps.

I roll my eyes, pushing into my bedroom and pulling Frankie inside before slamming said door closed.

I swear I hear my mother cackle.

“Look, I know I just met them, but I’m in love,” Frankie says.

“They’re the worst.”

“Worse than your parents threatening your kind-of boyfriend away from you, making you think you did something wrong and provoking you into running and hiding for four years of your life, always pondering the what-ifs?”

I grimace.

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