Page 75 of Doughn't Let Me Go

Her words cause my lips to pull down. It’s so…sad. And she’s saying it like it’s so…normal.

I wish I’d known her when I was younger. Maybe we could have been friends. I could have been there to help her.

“Stop looking at me like that, Porter.”

I clear my throat. “Like what?”

“Like you feel sorry for me. You don’t see me moping around, do you?” I shake my head. “Exactly. I’m not letting my upbringing dictate the rest of my life. I couldn’t do anything about it then, but I can now. That’s why I’m working so hard, so I can make something of my life I’m actually proud of. It’s why I want to go into social work. I want to give kids the help I never got. But you know that from my letter.”

It takes everything I have in my body to keep from jumping across this table and kissing her.

She’s so fucking strong. So brave. So smart and beautiful and admirable and everything I want as a role model for my daughter.

A waitress appears at the end of our table, saving me from making the leap to Dory. She’s holding our milkshakes.

“Hey, I’m just dropping these off for your waiter. We have two shakes. Chocolate for… Oooh. Let me guess, let me guess,” she says, clicking her tongue. “I’m guessing chocolate for the lady and strawberry for the gentleman.”

Dory scrunches her nose, and the waitress laughs.

“All right. Guess I got it wrong.” She sets them down in front of us. “The rest of your order will be out shortly. Extra ranch.” She winks and then hurries off.

Dory sits forward, tucking her long hair behind her ears. Her lips wrap around the straw, and I wish it were my cock they were wrapping around.

I have to clear my throat to cover the audible groan that escapes my lips.

I see the way her lips twitch.She noticed.

“What’s with all the old, oversized band tees?” I ask, seeking a distraction.

She finishes her long pull and sits back. “They were my father’s.”

My brows rise. “Were? Did your dad bail on you too?”

“He died when I was two.”

I wince. “Shit. I’m sorry, Dory.”

She ignores me. “What do you mean ‘too’? Is that what happened to you?”

I nod. “Yeah. He, uh, he wasn’t quite what my mom was hoping he’d be after his time in the Marines. He was dark…mean. And he had quite the drinking problem. My mom threatened to leave so many times, and I guess he just got tired of her empty threats and left himself.” I swallow the thick lump in my throat. “I didn’t talk to him for a really long time. We just reconnected a couple years ago, actually.”

“Shit, Porter.” She reaches across the table, her hand landing on top of mine. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Eh. Water under the bridge, right? I mean, at least he’s still alive.”

“True. What happened to you and your mom afterward?”

I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “She packed us up and moved us to California so she could ‘live her Hollywood dreams.’ Except she couldn’t bother getting out of bed on time for rehearsals, couldn’t put the bottle down long enough to pull her shit together. We lived in this crappy one-bedroom apartment for a really long damn time and scraped by. I got mixed up with the wrong crowd, mostly petty theft at grocery stores so I could eat something other than noodles and peanut butter sandwiches. I guess I became a bit of a hoodlum out of spite. But I mean, my family was broken, and my mom wasn’t doing anything to try to fix any of it, ya know? I was so angry at the world.”

She squeezes my hand, and I realize our fingers are now interlocked.

When did I do that? And why does it feel so right?

“How’d you get to where you are now? Sounds like a far cry from where you came from.”

“A lot of hard fucking work.” I smile fondly. “Honestly, though, I wouldn’t be where I am without my high school guidance counselor. She sat my ass down and straightened me out real quick. I was in there because I’d been caught hacking into the school’s system and changing grades for a few classes. She’s the one who suggested I make a career out of something with computers and set me down the path for community college.”

“And then you busted your ass through that, got your degree, and started a billion-dollar company?”

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