Page 130 of Doughn't Let Me Go

I cross the room and cup her jaw, rubbing circles over the spot where she has her teeth clenched.

“Look, Dory, can we just forget I said anything? Can we go back to when I was standing at your door?”

I canfeelthat she wants to argue with me, know there’s a whole lot she wants to say.

She surprises me by nodding.

“Thank fuck.” I sigh and drop my head to hers, my forehead resting against her temple.

I kiss her, all along her jaw, back to the spot she loves, and then all the way to the corner of her lips, the closest she ever lets me get to them.

I feel her tuck them together, hiding them from me, just in case I get the wise idea to push for more.

I won’t. Not tonight. Not when I’ve already pushed this further than I should have.

She turns into me. I wrap her in my arms, vowing to not let her go. She buries her head into my chest, and I can feel the light kisses she’s pressing against me.

“Want me to knock on the door again?” I grin against her head, trying to lighten the mood. “Go all out?”

“Might as well.” She pulls out of my embrace, shoving me toward the door with a playful grin. “Go on, git.”

“What? No goodbye kiss for the road?”

I’m teasing her. She knows this.

But it doesn’t stop her eyes from darkening, churning like those waters in the deep blue sea.

She steps toward me, hands coming up to grasp my face. She pulls me down to her with such slowness that it physically hurts to experience this moment. The anticipation is just too much.

Then, she places the softest, most gentle kiss on my lips.

“Let’s start over, Porter,” she whispers against me.

I don’t push for more.

Instead, I walk out the door, turning around and rapping my knuckles against the wood with a dopey grin on my face.

She never answers.

* * *

“Dory,”I say her name for probably the millionth time tonight.

And I get the same response I’ve been getting since I said it the first time.

Silence.

I know she’s on the other side, sitting here right along with me. I know she wants to open the door, just like I know she’s too scared to do it.

I should have known she’d shut me out, should have felt it in her kiss.

I pushed her too far tonight, and she pushed back.

I bang my head against the door, pissed at myself. Pissed at her. At this stupid fucking game we got ourselves into.

Just sex? Yeah, right. Who the fuck did we think we were kidding?

“Dad? What are you doing outside Dory’s door?”

---