Page 129 of Doughn't Let Me Go

She lets out a little squeal at the sudden movement, then laughs, burying her face in my neck, giving me the same nips and licks I like to give her.

When I don’t toss her onto the bed and instead head for the door, she peers up at me.

“What are you doing, Porter?”

I look down at her with serious eyes. “Stay with me tonight, Dory.”

“We stay together every night.”

I shake my head. “No. Not down here in yournanny quarters. In my room. Inmybed. Because you’re my equal.”

A V forms between her brows. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying stay the night with me.”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight. Tomorrow night too. And maybe the next.”

“Porter…” She wiggles in my arms, wanting to pull away.

I knew this would happen at the first sign of me showing I care.

I had a feeling this would be her reaction.

I’d just hoped she’d prove me wrong.

Please don’t let this be what I think it is.

“Listen, Porter,” she starts when I set her on her feet.

Her tone says it all.

This is it. I crossed the line too many times, pushed my luck too far.

She’s not ready for more yet.

But that’s okay. I can wait. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.

I’ll wait more.

“We can’t.”

“We can,” I argue, thought I know it’s fruitless.

“No.” She shakes her head vehemently. “We can’t. Nothing good in my life ever lasts, and all this is going to do is bring heartbreak for everyone involved when you leave.”

The anger I’m all too familiar with boils beneath the surface, and I don’t even bother trying to hold back my frustrated groan.

“Are you fucking serious with this shit right now, Dory?”

She crosses her arms over her chest, and I ignore the way it makes her nightshirt lift, showing me more and more of her bare legs. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re being really, really stupid, okay? You think everything in life goes to shit. Did you ever think it goes to shit becauseyoudon’t fight for it?” I shake my head, hands on my hips. “You’re not your mother. You don’t have to push relationships away because they didn’t work out for her. You don’t have to walk around acting like some unfeeling robot giving men your body but not your heart. You’re not her.”

Her mouth drifts open, then closes.

And I know I’ve said the wrong thing when she turns her ahead away from me, squeezing her eyes shut tightly.

---