Page 114 of Doughn't Let Me Go

“Very telling indeed,” Sully murmurs.

I look at Winston when he doesn’t chime in too.

“What? No smartass comment from you?”

He folds his hands over his stomach. “Oh, you’re definitely deep in denial. But you don’t need me to tell you that, do you?”

“I hate all of you.”

“Doubt that,” Sully says.

We all sip our beers quietly for several minutes, listening to the sounds coming from inside the house, which include a lot of things like, “Don’t touch that!” and “Oh my god, just go to sleep already!”

I really feel like we should go in there and help them, but I know it’s pointless. Too many cooks in the kitchen and all that.

Until I hear it.

“Dad!”

“And that’s my cue,” I say, pulling myself from the comfy chair at Kyrie’s cry for me. “I’ll be right back.”

Stepping into Winston’s house, I look around, really noticing for the first time how much his place has changed in the last year.

There are now toys stuffed into every corner, a stray baby sock poking out from under the couch, and numerous gorgeous photographs of him, Riker, and Drew on the once empty walls.

It looks like a family lives here.

Stepping closer to the pictures, I take a long look at them.

They’re all so happy, so full of love. Looking at these, you’d never know Winston and Drew used to be sworn mortal enemies, would never even guess that Riker doesn’t belong to Winston. Their little hodge-podge family looks like the epitome of perfection.

A pang of jealousy stabs at me.

I used to have that too, the perfect family.

Now it’s torn and frayed, but I yearn for something like it again.

With Dory.

The thought strikes me, nearly knocking the wind out of me.

I wasn’t lying earlier. Thingsaregreat with Dory and Kyrie.

But things with Dory and me? Well, on the surface they look great. Theyfeelgreat. But with every day that passes, I know I don’t just want her nights.

I want her kisses.

I want her heart.

I wanther.

So, so badly.

But I know she doesn’t want me, not like that, in that forever kind of way. She wants no attachments, and I’m fine to play along for the sake of having just a piece of her. It’s why I suggested the arrangement we have.

Maybe if we play at this long enough, it’ll become real.

God, I hope so.

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