Page 63 of I Knead You Tonight

It hits me before I can react.

Riker pisses straight onto my face.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

I place my hand over the stream, trying to block it as best I can.

I grab a wet wipe and clean my face off, grab a new diaper, and get him changed before he can piss on me some more.

He’s happy as can be the entire time.

I stand him up and he gives me a shit-eating grin like he didn’t just whiz all over me.

“You’re a monster,” I tell him.

He giggles, but then his laughter quickly subsides into tears, and he’s having an all-out screaming fit.

I grab his binky and take him to the bedroom, turn on his mobile—the greatest thing I’ve ever created because he absolutely loves it—and place him in his crib.

He calms down within a minute.

“Good boy,” I say, rubbing his head.

I march into the bathroom and yank the curtain open.

“Winston! What the fuck! I’m naked!”

She does a poor job of covering herself, but it wouldn’t matter anyway. I don’t even care about checking her out in this moment.

“Your son just pissed all over me.”

“W-What?” she sputters then looks at my shirt, which is covered in pee.

She bursts into laughter, her hands slipping away from her tits, a nipple popping out of her attempt to cover herself.

Okay,nowI’m checking her out.

“Stop it!” she says when she notices she’s showing off more than she wanted, shielding herself once again.

“What?” I roll my eyes. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“You haven’t seenmenaked before.”

“Please. You see one naked chick, you’ve seen them all.”

Except that’s not true.

A naked Drew blows all the other naked girls out of the water.

But I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that.

She stomps her foot, annoyed I’m not blown away by her nakedness.

“Can I help you, Winston?”

“Yeah. You can save me some hot water.” I reach in and cut the flow. “I need a shower. Because, you know, your kid just pissed on me.”

She cranks the water again. “Not my fault you don’t know how to change a diaper properly.”

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