Page 53 of Can't Text This

Python:Keep telling me that and I might actually never start believing you.

Me:You are the literal worst.

Python:Nah, I’m too cute for that.

Me:DONUTS? Donuts are your “forbidden love”?

Python:It’s a very toxic relationship, Monty. TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!

Me:Seriously going to delete your number.

Python:Doubt it. You’re in too deep with me now.

Me:Am not.

Python:Are too.

Python:Hey, Monty?

Me:Ugh. What?

Python:You at least chuckled, right?

Python:Monty? MONTY?

Python:Pft. You totally did.

Nine

Monty

Me:What’s your favorite color?

Python:Royal blue. Why?

Python:Oooh! Are you buying me a present? I love presents! Do you need my clothing size? Shoe size? Dick length? Any other favorites?

Me:Why on earth would I need your wiener length?

Python:Holy shit. Say wiener again, Monty. PLEASE.

Me:No.

Python:I’m going to make you say it next time I see you.

Me:You act like there’s going to be a next time.

Python:Oh, there is. You can only resist me for so long.

Me:We’ll see about that.

Python:Why’d you wanna know my favorite color?

Me:I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like I know too much and nothing about you all at once.

Python:Hey, I told you I sent that picture of me on the toilet by ACCIDENT. It was supposed to go to Zach.

Me:Right, and why do you two send each other bathroom shots again?

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