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Python:And his mom and I are on good terms too. No drama there. We co-parent the shit out of this kid, so you don’t have to worry about our banging encroaching on “her” space or whatever.

Me:Um, also good to know…I think.

Me:I love how you can always throw your banging plans into any conversation.

Python:Just keeping the idea fresh in your mind.

Python:Also, hold up a second, MY plans? I thought you wanted to bang too?

Me:I have remained safely on the “we’ll cross that bridge when and IF we get there” side of things since the beginning.

Python:That’s not a no.

Me:Not a solid yes, either.

Python:Same-same dif.

Me:What?

Python:Nothing. Something Zach says.

Me:This Zach guy sounds interesting…

Python:But not more interesting than me, right?

Python:RIGHT, MONTY?

Python:Monty…?

Six

Monty

Python:I just wanted to clear the air here—I’m never going to forgive you.

Me:Give it a rest, Robbie! It’s been two days!

Python:NEVERRRRR!

Python:You fell asleep on me. AT 6PM. ON A SATURDAY! You practically called me boring.

Me:I did not.

Me:And don’t you dare do that same-same dif thing again.

Python:*smirks*

Me:*rolls eyes*

Python:But my smirk was hot, right?

Me:Go work!

Python:Fine.

* * *

Me:I’m bored. I want to chat and you’re my only friend.