Page 33 of Can't Text This

Python:What are you doing?

Me:I’m downloading a music app so I can “get with the times”.

Python:No shit, huh? Let me link you to my playlist.

Me:ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE MY EARS BLEED?

Me:That just blasted through my speakers so loud I peed a little!

Python:First, I’m trying so hard not to laugh right now.

Me:I AM AT MY PLACE OF WORK, ROBERT.

Python:You are not!

Me:Fine. No, I’m not. I’m on the couch. But I DID have to go change my panties.

Python:I tend to have that effect on women.

Me:*glares*

Python:What?

Me:You know what!

Me:Now, please, send good music.

Python:What? That music IS good!

Me:It’s LOUD!

Python:Okay, okay. Calm down, grandma.

Me:I am not a grandma!

Python:You’re basically a grandma. I bet you play bingo for fun, don’t ya?

Me:No.

Python:Why do I have a feeling you’re lying?

Me:Shush! Now send me GOOD music.

Python:I repeat…that WAS good music.

Python:Give it another try. Listen to the lyrics.

Me:You want me to go deaf?

Python:Stop being so dramatic. Go listen and report back once you’ve given it a fair chance.

Me:UGH!

Me:But fine. Just know I’m going to moan and groan the entire time.

Python:Aw, I love it when you moan.

Me:Hate you.

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