Page 118 of Can't Text This

I swipe my notification bar down to see it’s an image.

“What did you send me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I pull the phone away from my face again and open the text.

Then promptly burst into laughter.

“Oh my gosh, did you just use your bunny to ask me to go steady with you?”

“I have no goddamn shame, Monty, not when it comes to you.” He pauses briefly before whispering, “Say yes.”

“Yes,” I reply without hesitation.

“A-Are you…” He trips over his words. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Likesupersure? The surest you could ever be?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely positive?”

I laugh. “Don’t make me take it back already.”

“No take-backs. It’s our rule…girlfriend.”

* * *

Me:I just wanted you to know I’m alive.

Python:I was starting to get a little worried.

Python:How was day three?

Me:Much better than the previous two days.

Python:Good. I’m glad to hear that.

Python:Can I call you tonight? Will you still be up after about 9? I have some things to do first, but I should be available after that.

Me:Yes. I’m still at work anyway. Looooong day.

Python:I’ve got something long for you.

Python:DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Me:I was really scared to open that picture at work but I’m so glad I did. I needed that laugh.

Python:HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT MY WIENER!

Me:Wait a second, YOUR WIENER?

Me:You’re my boyfriend now—doesn’t that make it MY wiener?

Python:So you’re telling me I just acquired a pussy?

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