Page 104 of Can't Text This

Monty:So you’re saying there’s a chance?

Me:Not even a tiny one. Thank god.

Monty:BOOOO!

Monty:And we can’t meet on your lunch break. I was only teasing. I have too much work to do.

Me:Maybe tonight?

Monty:Can’t. I have plans with Denny.

Me:*cries like Padmé* YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART!

Monty:Um, who?

Me:…

Monty:KIDDING, KIDDING! I’ve seen Titanic.

Me:That’s it. We’re breaking up.

Monty:I WAS KIDDING.

Monty:Also, can we “break up” if we’re just friends with benefits?

Me:Oh totally. Me denying you dick would be us breaking up.

Me:Actually, I don’t know…I just really like dangling the D in your face.

Monty:Robbie…

Me:*blinks innocently* What?

Monty:You’re making me want a nap.

Me:A naked nap, right?

Monty:No!

Me:*yes

* * *

Me:It’s been days since our last tryst.

Monty:I knew I was just a booty call.

Me:Oh, did you think this was something more? My bad.

Me:Seriously, though, I’m kinda missing you.

Me:And by kinda, I mean I really fucking miss you, and not just for the extra-amazing sex either.

Monty:Extra amazing? Someone’s buttering me up for something.

Monty:I’m not doing any weird positions.

Me:We’ll come back to that later.

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