Page 93 of Can't Text This

I missedallof what she said, but I’m not about to tell her that.

I grab the slice and take a bite. “Damn, girl. This shit is good.”

“Right? Better give me credit when you steal my genius shit.”

“You mean Facebook’s genius shit.”

She lifts a shoulder. “Same-same dif.”

I nearly choke on my pizza laughing. “Can’t believe you’ve got her saying that now.”

“Blame our new assistant, Will. It was all his fault.”

“Fucking Will,” I mutter.

“Kid’s a hoot. Not one single filter.”

“Filters are overrated,” Delia says through a mouthful of bread and cheese.

I point at her, nodding in agreement. Finishing off the last of my pizza, I push away from the counter, standing.

“Okay, I’m outta here,” I announce. “I’ll grab my kid and scram. Need to get a few hours with him before he ditches me for the week.”

I cross the kitchen and swoop Delia into my arms.

“Delia, it’s been a pleasure.”

She greets the hug with affection, wrapping her arms around my waist. Then she stiffens and, in a deadpan voice, says, “You’re rubbing your greasy pizza fingers all over my shirt, aren’t you?”

“Me? Nooooo.”

“Robbie!” she hollers.

I pull away, smacking a big kiss to her cheek and dodge the tiny fists flying my way.

She whirls on her boyfriend. “You owe me a new shirt!”

“Me, why?”

“Because that’s your friend!”

“I’m going to go ahead and not complain about you not calling me your friend right now because I don’t want to go buy you a new shirt.” Delia’s eyes flare at the comment, and I try my best to hold in my laugh as she realizes she’s caught in her own trap. “Gotta go, bye!”

I wave to them, grab Xavie’s overnight bag from the back of my chair, and duck out the back door.

Xavie’s sitting outside the hut Zach built for his goats, sliding treats inside one by one.

“Yo, spawn of mine, you ready?”

“Can I take Marshy with me?”

“I have two words for you: hell and no.”

He sighs, gives the goat one more treat, and sluggishly makes his way over to me. “Lame.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“Real funny, Dad.”

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