Page 57 of Can't Text This

Me:Is it a boy or a girl?

Python:A girl.

Me:Thumbelina Bruce Wayne Cross

Python:You’re kidding.

Me:…

Python:Oh wow. You’re NOT kidding.

Python:No. HELL NO.

Python:Also, what in the actual fuck kind of name is that?

Me:I don’t know. Thumbelina is cute and Bruce Wayne is Batman. Why wouldn’t you want to name your pet after Batman? He’s Batman!

Me:Come on, Robbie. Just do it.

Python:No!

Me:What were you going to name her?

Python:Sure as hell not Thumbelina Bruce Wayne!

Me:Spoilsport.

Python:I regret nothing.

* * *

Python:I think it’s my turn to hate you.

Me:You named her Thumbelina Bruce Wayne, didn’t you?

Python:Yes.

Python:It just fits her so well.

Me:Someone just took one step closer to making our “bang plan” happen.

Python:For real? Shit. I’ll go buy ten bunnies and you can name them anything you want! Spanky, Sparky, Spidey, Tinker Bell! Whatever!

Python:Can I just say I enjoy the fact that a bunny is what’s caused this? We’ll be banging like rabbits in no time.

Me:And just like that, one step back. Don’t be a creeper, Robbie.

Python:I take it back!

Me:Weird. As I recall, we’re operating firmly under the “no take-backs” rule.

Python:I hate my mouth sometimes. It just runs and runs and I forget that the things it says can come back to bite me in the ass.

Python:Fine. You win this round.

Me:We can call it a draw. ??

Python:You’re my favorite.

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