Page 34 of Can't Text This

* * *

Me:I have a confession to make.

Python:Please tell me you’ve been texting me while naked this entire time.

Me:You think I’ve been naked for DAYS?

Python:A man can dream, Monty. A man can dream.

Me:You finished?

Python:Dreaming of you naked? Never.

Python:But please, do tell me this juicy confession.

Python:P.S. I’m still holding out hope for it to be that you’re naked.

Me:*rolls eyes*

Me:ANYWAY. I’ve been listening to your playlist.

Python:Yeah? Good shit, huh?

Me:It’s not as bad as I originally thought it was. It’s actually quite good…once you get past all that noise they make. The lyrics and message are beautiful.

Python:That’s not noise, Monty. That’s a fucking beautiful, chaotic symphony.

Me:That was…kind of lovely.

Python:Even with fuck thrown in there?

Me:Especially with it thrown in.

Python:You’re loving my dirty mouth, aren’t you?

Me:Yes.

Me:But don’t tell people I said that!

Python:Too late. I just put it up on every social media platform.

* * *

Python:After our convo last night, I tried very hard to internet stalk you.

Me:Let me guess, you didn’t get very far.

Python:I did not.

Python:You’re going to tell me you’re some unicorn and don’t have a single social media account, aren’t you?

Me:Yes.

Python:HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

Me:I didn’t grow up with access, remember?

Python:I know, I know, but you’re a grown-ass woman. You can do what you want now.

---