Page 127 of Can't Text This

Me:That’s probably best.

Me:P.S. You’re my favorite flavor of Pringles. ??

Python:Wow. You suck too.

Me:I do, but you know that.

Python:OH FUCK. Montana Andrews, did you just make a BLOWJOB joke? You little minx!

Me:Stop. It.

Python:Nope! I just took three fucking screenshots of that shit just in case I accidentally delete one. I am printing that out. Just wait.

Me:That’s it, we’re breaking up.

Python:Sorry, you’re stuck with me.

Python:You’re excited, I know.

Me:*not (You missed a word there.)

Python:Ooooh and sassy too. Me likey.

* * *

Python:Do you like tacos?

Me:Do you like air?

Python:I’m not entirely certain, but I think that was a death threat.

Me:I mean, it wasn’t, but it could be.

Me:Yes, I like tacos. Why?

Python:Just making sure for our date tomorrow.

Me:We’re getting tacos tomorrow?

Python:Guess we’ll see.

Me:If we’re not getting tacos, then why ask me about tacos? You can’t just tease a gal with tacos and then not deliver.

Python:Geez. Someone likes their tacos. I’ll make a special note of that.

Me:Sorry. I’m hangry right now.

Python:Why are you horny? Been looking at those pics I sent you again?

Me:Robbie…

Python:I’m gonna go ahead and exit this convo while I still have my balls intact. I do cherish them and was hoping to maybe keep them, have another kid down the road. So, yeah. Bye now.

Python:For clarity’s sake…I DID NOT mean have a kid with you.

Python:Not that you’re, like, disgusting and I’d never consider it, but yeah, not right now.

Python:You know what? This just went really fucking south. We’re going to pretend this never happened and I left a long time ago.

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