Page 116 of Can't Text This

* * *

Python:So, I had a thought.

Me:This is scary already.

Python:Wow. WOW. Really, Monty? REALLY?

Python:I see how you get when you don’t get the D for a few days. You get hangry.

Me:Hangry? I don’t think you’re using that word right.

Python:Sure I am. Horny + Angry = Hangry

Me:Ughh.

Python:??

Python:Anyway, back to my thought. I kind of figured I wouldn’t be able to see you any nights this week because you’d be dead tired from all the teachering you’re doing.

Me:Yes, true. Go on…

Python:Well, how about we go to dinner Friday night then?

Me:You asking me out on a date, Robbie?

Python:Indeed I am, Montana.

Me:I’m in.

Me:Wait, don’t you have your son this week?

Python:Therein lies the catch.

Python:I DO have my son this week. He’d be going with us. What do you think?

Me:I think…wow. I…I don’t know, Robbie.

Me:That’s huge.

Python:That’s what she said.

Me:Huh? Who?

Me:Oh. Never mind.

Me:But still. That’s a big step.

Python:I know, I know, but… Okay, you know what? I’m calling you so you can’t screenshot this and ruin my badass reputation I have going on. You better answer.

My phone lightsup in my hand and I nearly drop it, which issosilly since he just told me he was about to call.

I swipe the green icon over and put the phone up to my ear.

“I’m about to get sappy as shit right now,” he says in greeting.

“Well, hello to you too.”

“Listen up.”

---