Page 74 of We Are the Stars

Jase and the three guys and girl he’s with all sit down, shooting daggers our way.

We ignore them all.

“Where are the boyfriends tonight?”

“You know, I think you’re starting to become more of their third wheel than I am. Are you trying to replace me?”

“Why? Are you replaceable?”

“With those two?” I scoff. “I have the equipment they require. Keep dreamin’.”

“I’ll just have to win their affections with my spunk.”

“I thinkmyspunk would win them over more.”

She covers her face with her hands and shakes with laughter. “I should have known that was coming.”

“That’s what she said.”

Elliott’s quick and reaches out to grab a sugar packet before I can understand what she’s doing. She launches it directly at my face, hitting me square between the eyes.

“Ass.”

The table next door mocks us, but we ignore it.

“It’s their date night,” I answer her earlier question. “I have no idea what they’re doing though. Knowing those two horndogs, probably sitting at home, downloading all the porn.”

“All of it?” she faux-whispers.

I lean across the table, matching her playfulness, and say, “All of it.”

She fakes a shocked gasp and we laugh some more.

I’m still leaning across the table, but I lower my words so Jase and his dickhead friends can’t hear me. “This is nice. I’m… It’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.”

“Thank you—I think.” Her tone is equally as quiet.

“Nothing against you. It’s”—I wave a hand—“all of this. I thought it’d be worse.”

Her eyes quickly zoom to the table next to ours and then back to mine. “Worse than that?”

“Honestly? Yeah. I’m surprised other people aren’t staring and whispering amongst themselves.”

“I’m glad they’re not.”

“Me too.”

I’m suddenly overwhelmed with joy, ecstatic I decided to ask her out to dinner. After our chat at work yesterday, I realized that maybe—despite the immense doubt I have—something could work between us. This weight, this darkness that’s been crushing me for years now seems to lighten when Elliott’s around. And, yeah, it’s a dick move to use her as a crutch, but do you blame me? I feel genuinely happy around her. I’d forgotten what that feels like, how it makes me light up inside. How it takes away the filter I see everything through and brightens up the world, making everything more vivid.

I’m tired of the dark, gray world I’m living in. I want more color, more hope, more life.

I want more of Elliott.

I just have to rein in the shadows that threaten.

The waiter interrupts our moment and arrives with our drinks. We place our order: an extra-large pepperoni and black olive pizza, a side of cheesy bread, and cheese sticks—oh, and a side of nacho cheese sauce.

“I called ahead,” I tell Elliott when she gives me a surprised look. “For your sauce. I made sure they had it.”

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