Page 44 of We Are the Stars

Finally, my guest appears.

And it’s exactly who I hoped it wouldn’t be.

Carsen strolls into the room like he’s been here a thousand times before, like he belongs. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing at the edge of my bed.

I can’t read him. I hate that I can’t read him.

He doesn’t look angry, but he doesn’t look anything else either. He’s just…here.

I wish he were easier to read, more predictable, but since the moment I met him, I’ve had no idea what to expect. Sometimes he’s flirty, others he’s so full of anger and gloom it’s hard to be around him.

Leaning over until he can reach the table on the opposite side of my bed, his cheek rests against mine.

“You kissed me.”

He doesn’t move as he drops my phone heavily onto the table. He doesn’t move as my breath gets caught in my throat, nor does he move even an inch backward as my entire body begins to thrum with I don’t know what but it feels damn good.

After what seems like hours, or maybe even days, I feel his stubble rub against my face as he pulls away.

Finally, I can breathe again. I’m still too stunned to form a response, so I watch as he aimlessly wanders around my bedroom.

He goes to my bookshelf first, scrolling his way through the numerous titles I have haphazardly stacked together. Every few seconds he shakes his head in a negative or positive, either approving or disapproving of the books. Once he’s gone through each title, he moves on to the various black and white photographs I have hanging on the wall next to the shelf—photographs I took.

But he doesn’t know that.

He spends extra time on the one of Lake Q at night. It’s lit up bright, and none of that was my doing. It was the stars.

My room is small, so it doesn’t take him long to make it to my desk. He pulls out the lone chair in the room, swings it around, and sits so he’s facing me.

“What are you doing here?” I finally manage to say.

“Returning your phone. You dropped it last night when you ran away. After you kissed me.”

Flirty Carsen it is.

I hop up from my bed and rush to close my door. “Could you keep your voice down, please?”

“Is someone embarrassed she kissed me?” He says the last two words louder than the rest, and I march back to my bed and throw a pillow at him. He dodges it and raises a brow in my direction as I climb back into my nest of blankets. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“No, I’m not embarrassed, I’m just not into my family hearing about my sex life.”

“Sex life? We have a sex life? How did I not know about this? Is it bad? Is that why I know nothing? Or is itsogood that it’s too euphoric for me to come down from and I get so lost in the bliss that I forget it happens?”

“I hate you.”

“Liar.”

“Why are you here, Carsen?”

He points toward my phone. “I told you already, I brought your phone back for you. You’re welcome.”

“Why are youstillhere, Carsen?”

He shrugs. “Because you haven’t kicked me out yet.” I open my mouth to ask him to leave as he says, “And becauseyoukissedme.”

“Ugh.” I groan. “That again?”

“Yes,thatagain. Why? Because everything was going smooth and thenwham! Your lips were on mine. Was it something I said? Did? How did we go from talking about a violent Christmas to kissing? I need answers, Elliott. I spent the entire night running it through my head and I can’t think of anything.”

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