Page 41 of We Are the Stars

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t bring you here to make you cry.”

“I appreciate that, but Carsen?”

“Yeah?”

“Whydidyou bring me here?” she asks.

“To…I don’t know, talk? Show you I’m more than an asshole?”

“You’ve done well then.”

“Can I show you something?” She nods, and I shimmy down to lying on my back and looking up at the stars again. Once she’s settled beside me, I lift a hand and point toward the sky. “This is my path,” I tell her as I begin tracing the stars. Elliott scoots closer, moving until we’re huddled against one another.

“Why do you keep stopping for a few seconds?”

“It marks major life points.”

“Which one are we stopped at now?”

“My tenth birthday. It was the first time the asshole lost control and launched an ashtray at my mom’s head. I never forgave him.”

“Was he always so violent?”

I sigh and continue tracing my path. “No, and that’s the hardest part. He used to be an amazing guy. Then he wasn’t. It was like a switch flipped in him one day.”

“Did he ever go back to being good?”

“Sometimes there were glimpses, but not really, no.”

“Where are we stopped now?”

“Christmas two years ago.”

It takes her a second to ask, “What happened?”

“It was the first timeIlost control.” She doesn’t say anything else, waiting for me to elaborate. “I lost my temper, yelled at my mom for the first time ever, and caught a peek at the man hiding inside of me.”

Her hand snakes around mine, steadying my shaking fingers. My heart hammers in my chest, my lungs expanding with sharp, hesitant breaths.

Together, we continue tracing my path.

“I don’t believe for a second you’re anything like him, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“You didn’t know him.”

“I know enough to be certain you’re not capable of that.”

I pull my hand from her grasp and drop it between us. “You can’t be certain of that.”

She doesn’t argue.

She knows I’m right.

I hate that I’m right.

“Can I ask you something?”

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