Page 14 of We Are the Stars

Those are the headlines on various news sites. In a moment I’m certain I’ll regret, I click on the first article. The page loads fast, and I wish it hadn’t.

A gruesome photo fills the screen. Police are scattered around an off-white bedroom, three of them standing over a sheet-covered body, a hand sticking out. Their eyes are sad and surprised. A paramedic is squatted down next to her bare feet with his head hanging low, and a pair of high-heels is broken and sitting at an odd angle next to her lifeless body.

In the very back of the photo is an officer talking with an older man. At first glance, he looks upset, but if you look closer, he looks…angry. Not at himself or someone else, not with the way his eyes are pointed toward the woman’s body. He’s angry ather.

Farther back in the picture is a younger guy. His face is twisted with pain. His eyes are staring over at the woman, empty in the saddest of ways. You can see that he’s broken.

I scroll past the image, unable to bear the hurt any longer, and scan the article. It summarizes what happened in Carsen’s words, but the commentary on them is what’s so troubling. Whoever wrote the article paints Carsen in a negative light, their uncertainty of his innocence clear.

He says his father killed her after he came home. The reporters disagree, claim he was already there, waiting like a predator. He says his father locked him out of the room as he killed his mother. They say there’s no way.

At the end, there’s an update that says Carsen was released with no charges pending. He’s free and clear. Even so, the words don’t read that way. It makes me sad, because even the blindest of people can see that Carsen is hurting, and the other man, his father, is not. That should be a sign right there.

I continue to scroll until I see the comments section: 13,978.Holy hell!Close to fourteen thousand comments, and I’m stupid enough to start reading them.

My money is on the boy. Anyone want to take that bet?

I guarantee you the son did it. He wanted the cash. William and Faith are loaded!

Faith was such a sweet woman. A shame her son is such a horrible boy.

He looks like a psychotic killer to me.

MURDERER!!!!

What a disgusting little prick!! He probably sexually assaulted her too. He looks like a sick fuck like that!! Someone ought to teach that kid some respect!!

KILL THE SON!

I hurriedly return to the initial search and click on several other articles, skimming them and heading straight for the comments section. It all reads the same. Per the reporters and the internet commenters, Carsen is guilty. They say he was the one who squeezed the life from his mother. The one who was found standing over her in rage. The one who the police slapped the cuffs on first.

My stomach churns, and I fight the urge to vomit. There’s a soreness in my chest so persistent that I rub at the ache. I can’t fathom how these people don’t see what I see. Did they not look at the photos? Did they not see the turmoil on his face and the ire in his father’s? There’s not a single part of me that believes Carsen is culpable, yet there are so many others out there who believe he’s capable of such vile things.

Slamming my laptop shut, I hastily return it to my desk, the need to be rid of it pressing. Just by looking at the articles, I feel like I’ve contributed to the revolting words being slung his way.

I can’t imagine how he must feel.

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