Page 81 of Here's to Now

“Am I what?”

Haley rolls her eyes. “Are you sleeping with other women? Or men? If that’s something you’re into, I mean.”

“No,” I say with a chuckle. “I’m not sleeping with any other women—or men.”

“Good.”

Then, it’s quiet…too quiet. So quiet that I begin to retreat into my head, only this time it’s a good thing because Haley’s words created this giant hole of relief inside me that I want to burrow myself into. It’s warm and soft and perfect—like her.

She’s been faithful to whatever it is we’re doing. I like that—no, Ilovethat.

“So…”

“So…”

We laugh nervously, and I motion for her to speak first.

“What are we doing, Gaige? Are we dating? Do you want to date? Is that something we’re ready for? I could be ready for it, but I need to know if you are. I need to know if this is something we can do, if we can be one hundred percent open with one another.” She exhales sadly. “I’ve had enough secrets and surprises to last a lifetime, some of my own doing, some not, and I’m over it. I need something real, tangible. Can we do that?”

An overwhelming impulse to kiss her stirs inside me until it’s too big to ignore. Leaning over, I match my lips over hers and begin coaxing kiss after kiss out of her. At first, they’re lazy and sweet. Then they’re debauched and heated as I wrap my hands around her neck and then fist her hair gently, guiding her head to just the right angle. She’s sliding into my lap before I know it and I’m palming her heavy breasts in my hands, plucking at her nipples through her thin blue tank top. Haley grinds down on my now erect dick and a zing of pleasure hits me in all the perfect places. A groan slips out—I’m not sure who from—the moment our mouths disconnect. She moves her kisses across my stubble-lined jaw, and when her teeth sink gently into my earlobe, I’m ready to burst. A current of pleasure passes through me, causing the hairs on my arms to stand up. Every small, wet kiss she places across my jaw and down my neck is making me vibrate with the need to empty myself, to bury all this built up tension inside Haley and find a sweet release. Pushing her back just the slightest, I meet her now illuminated eyes. Her lips are red and puffy. Her skin glows with a haze of sweat. Every light brown strand of hair is now in disarray from raking my hands through it.

I slowly drag my hands down her sides, settling them on the hem of her tank top, bunching the material roughly, and pulling it up and off her. She sits in front of me with her bare breasts at eye level. I meet her stare as I grind my hips up into her and relish in the moment her eyes flutter shut and her swollen lips part in a muted sigh of pleasure.

“I want this,” I tell her, my voice sounding like I brushed sandpaper over my vocal chords. Laying a palm against her naked, heaving chest, I continue to hold her gaze as I say, “I’m ready for tangible too.”

In a rapid movement, her lips crush against mine again, and we lose ourselves in a fervor of lust and desire.

“I have a past.”

“We all have pasts.”

“Mine isn’t pretty.”

“Are any of them?”

I sluggishly tilt my head her way to find her peering up at me with curiosity and patience. We’re tangled together on her small couch, a blanket covering our naked bodies. I try to ignore the fact that the face of a Disney princess is staring up at me with judgmental eyes. I shuffle the blanket around a bit until the face is obscured and I can’t see it peeking up at me.

“I’ve been in trouble with the law.”

“I figured that,” Haley says, her hot breath tickling its way across my uncovered stomach as she draws small circles around my faded scars.

“Often.”

“Gaige, it’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s fine. I can handle it.”

“What if I killed someone?”

She stills, and I’m certain she’s going to kick my scummy ass to the curb.

“Did you?” she inquires quietly, her fingers resuming their lazy scrawl.

“Sort of.”

“How do you ‘sort of’ kill someone?”

“Indirectly?”

“Thank you for that clarification, jackass,” she snarks, pinching me.

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