Page 71 of Here's to Now

We’ve been spending a lot of nights together, probably too many for two people trying to keep things on a friends-with-benefits level, but it’s hard to keep our hands off each other. Sometimes I feel like we’re one of those newlywed couples who have the urge to screw constantly. I mean, we do more than have sex, but it’s definitely taken precedence over our usual Netflix nights.

We lock gazes for a second before she tears her eyes from mine straightaway.

Back.

It.

The.

Fuck.

Up.

Did shereallyjust blow me off? What, we’re not allowed to be friendly in public? I know we’re still keeping this “friendship” under wraps, especially since we’ve progressed our relationship, but to full-out give me the cold shoulder? Shit. It hurts—a lot worse than I thought it would.

“Oh, hey,” Rae says once she breaks free of a kiss from Hudson. “Everyone, this is my older sister Haley. Hales”—my eyes fall to slits at the use of the nickname rolling off someone else’s lips, even if itisher sister—“tattoo guy is Tucker, new kid is Maddox, and this fine piece of man meat is Gaige.”

“Fine piece of man meat, huh?” I chuckle. “Damn, I like you. You always find a way to give me an ego boost. Can I keep you?”

Rae winks at me and motions for Haley to sit down next to her—directly across from me.

“Hey!” Hudson points a finger at me. “No.”

“You just reprimanded me like you would Joey. Why is your dad mode turned on?”

“It’salwayson—joys of being a parent.”

“At least you have a cute kid,” Tuck says. “I have no idea where she got it from though. Your mug is ugly as fuck.”

Maddox snickers from beside him and Hudson shoots him a glare, causing the poor kid to shrink into himself.

Rae turns to Haley. “Aren’t they charming?”

“Something like that,” she mutters shyly.

Shy? Haley? No. That’s notmyHaley. My girl is fun, a little loud, and most definitely not shy. No, she speaks what’s on her mind, no matter how insane it may seem. She’s not this, whatever this is. She’s—

I’ve never taken her out in public.

That hits me hard. In all the time we’ve spent together, the only places I’ve taken her are Everlasting Ink and Vern’s. That’s it. No movie, no fancy restaurant, no nice quiet stroll on the banks of Lake Quannapowitt. I don’t really know what she’s like in a social setting. I have no idea if she’s quiet or loud, reserved or outgoing. I’ve only spent time with her alone.

Fuck. I’m a terrible boyfr—friend.Absolutely horrible.

I look over at her and find her staring at me. She glances away once our eyes meet. Again.

Agitation runs through me. I want to be reach over and brush the hair from her face, maybe even hold her hand. I want to sit next to her, want to sling my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me, lay a gentle kiss on her forehead. I don’t want to pretend to not know her, to sit across the booth from her not touching or looking at her.

I’m about to open my mouth to say something, anything, to her when I feel something nudge my shin. My eyes find hers instantly. I’m rewarded with a small, playful smile.

Everything in me calms with that one simple gesture.

“Maura should be here in a few minutes.”

“Maura’s coming? She didn’t mention it this morning,” Tucker asks. I shift my gaze to him, still so surprised to see both of my best friends madly in love.

For the longest time it’s always been me, Hudson (and Joey, obviously), and Tucker. That was it. Then last year Hudson found Rae. Their love was the easiest thing I’ve ever seen, natural almost. With Rae came Maura, her best friend. Tucker fell for her—or she fell for him. Either way, it was far from easy. It was complicated in a falling-in-love-with-your-boyfriend’s-brother sort of way.

From that simple relationship between Rae and Hudson, we grew our group, stretching our ranks to include Haley and Perry, Rae’s cousin.

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