Page 68 of Here's to Now

I’d laugh, but laughing isn’t something I want to do right now. I want to scream, want to know exactly what it is running through her mind, because I am so confused.

“Come on, Gaige. Is that what this is to you? A one-night stand? Is that whatIam to you?” Every word lashes at me like a whip, stinging my skin and cutting deep.

“What? No! That’s what you said!Youturned this intothat.”

“Because I’m genuinely tired? I’m sorry you’re so good in the sack you exhaust me.” She throws her hands up in the air dramatically. “Oops!”

It’s like I’m in a bumper car with the way this conversation is throwing me around. Frustrated, I pull at my hair, unsure what’s happening right now and not knowing where to take things. This entire friendship with her has been sketchy and mystifying from the start. Adding this to it? Yeah, color me fucking confused.

My mind goes blank. I close my eyes to collect myself because I desperately need a second to breathe.

After a moment living inside my whirring mind—let’s face it, it’s a clusterfuck in there—I decide I’d much rather take my chances in the now. Opening my eyes again, it hits me what’s going on, what that distant look in her eyes earlier was about.

She’s scared, worried what happened will twist whatever semblance of relationship we have, wring it out like a dirty dish rag. But I don’t want that. I don’t want our relationship to be akin to something dirty, something unworthy. It’s not. Our friendship isn’t wrong; it’s not unworthy. A little confusing, sure, but wrong? No, and what happened tonight sure as fuck isn’t any of those things either.

I’m determined to make sure she knows that.

It also really hits me that we’re bothstillnaked and angry.

Angry sex, anyone?The thought sends a smile across my lips and she glares at me.

“Are you seriously smiling right now?”

I can feel anger coming off her in waves. They’re almost strong enough to drown out the desire floating around, but the swell doesn’t quite trump it.

“Yes.”

“Why.” It’s gritted out like she’s having to reach inside and carefully extract each letter.

I’m so turned on right now. I don’t even try to hide the fact that my dick has decided to start standing at attention. Her eyes fall to my erection, and my smile grows along with my cock.

Slowly, I slink around the bed, noting how unsteady her breaths become the closer I get. When I get within reaching distance, I stop and raise a brow, silently asking if I’m allowed to touch her. She doesn’t say anything, but she also doesn’t move. I take that as my cue.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, I pull her toward me. She complies with ease, proving even more that she wants this too. I scoop her up in both arms, draping her back down across the bed, her feet still dangling off. I crawl on top of her, watching for any signs of uncertainty on her end. There are none.

I lean forward and plant a chaste kiss on her lips. She presses for more but I refuse to give it to her without knowing she’s not going to freak on me again.

“You want this?”

Her nod is small, almost imperceptible, but it’s the yes I need. I kiss her chin and follow an invisible path down her neck, nipping lightly as I make my way to her breasts. I take my time kissing them, sucking the tips of them into my mouth. Her moans spur me on. I manage to reach the nightstand and grab another condom from the two I set there earlier. Breaking away for a moment, I swiftly open the condom and cover myself. My mouth falls to her breasts the moment I’m secure, and her legs instantly fall apart even farther. I line myself up with her warm center and plunge into her without another thought.

She cries out in pleasure and a rush of pride hits me. Her legs wrap around me, pulling me closer into her, begging me to go harder, faster. My natural instinct is to do just that, to lose myself inside her with deep, hard plunges, but my head says the opposite.

We’ve already fucked tonight. No matter how good it could be, I don’t want angry sex right now. That’s not what I want this moment to be about. I need toshowher what we’re doing isn’t wrong, that it’s not just athingto me.

I still, refusing to give in to her.

“What the hell, Gaige!”

“Shhh. Look at me.”

“I am, you asshole.”

“No.Lookat me. Get the anger out of your eyes andfocuson me.”

She takes a few breaths, her brows still drawn together in aggravation, but I watch as the anger slowly fades away.

“What?”

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