Page 64 of Here's to Now

Surprisingly enough, the car ride back to Haley’s apartment wasn’t as awkward or stilted as I thought it’d be. You know, we made out. In the back of a fucking tattoo shop. After I gave her a fake tattoo that made her cry. Shouldn’t that shitnotfeel normal? Shouldn’t I have been sweating my ass off, wondering what the fuck was going through her mind? I should have. But I didn’t. Instead, we laughed over Farrell’s perfectly timed interruption and what a creeper he was for spying on us over the cameras. Everything felt…fine.

Until right this moment, as I’m walking her up the stairs to her apartment.

I don’t know what to expect and nothing but worry courses through me. Is she going to want me to stay? Should I stay? No, I need to go. I’ve already been a big enough tool tonight. I didn’t even think of it earlier, but I’m a total asshole for taking advantage of Haley’s emotional state and kissing her back so fiercely. She’s essentially had her entire relationship with her sister flipped on its ass andIdecide it’s a good time to get my mack on?

Dick. Move.

“Gaige?”

“Huh?” I say, spinning my attention to Haley.

“I asked if you wanted to come in.”

“Oh…” The word lingers there for what seems like forever until I tack on, “Yes.”

No. No! I meant no! I take it back!

I wish more than anything I could press the rewind button on the last few seconds and take back that stupid three-letter word. I didn’t mean it. I don’t want to come inside. I don’t trust myself.

But, for some reason, I ignore everything I’m thinking and follow her into her apartment and make myself at home on the couch like I’ve done so many times before.

She asks if I want a drink; I nod. She hands me a glass of wine; I guzzle it.

I’m somewhere on my fifth or sixth glass—maybe even more considering there are two empty bottles on the coffee table—and I feel like a feather: light and fluffy. You know, like those cute little baby chickens they put out around Easter everyone loves to pet and fawn over but rarely actually takes home, but when they do they don’t go to a home that’s suited for them and well…yeah. I feel like an Easter chicken.

And drunk. Really drunk.

I mean, I have to be since I’m comparing myself to an adorable little Easter chicken, right?

I wonder if Haley would take me home.

Wait. She already did.

A smug smirk plays on my lips as I glance down at the woman snuggled up next to me. Her head is gently laid against my shoulder as she watches whatever movie she put in. Even though I may be mildly inebriated, I don’t miss the content sighs that keep leaving her. It’s nothing I’m doing, so it must be whatever’s happening on the screen.

I must have made an involuntary noise of my own because she’s suddenly looking up at me, her head barely missing my chin.

“Does Flynn get to you too?”

“Flynn?”

She points to the television. “Flynn Rider, the handsome thief. He’s stolen my heart!” She sings the last word as she clutches her chest, something straight out of these Disney movies she loves. Growing serious, she says, “But they can never get his nose right.”

I laugh. She laughs. And then we’re kissing.

I know, I know. You’re wondering how laughing ended in a mess of lips and tongues, right? Yeah, me too, but I’m not going to complain about the way she’s currently straddling me. I won’t protest as she pushes herself down on my now hard dick. Not a peep will be spoken because whatever the fuck it is she’s doing with her tongue is the best thing I’ve ever experienced.

Wait.

No.

I’m not supposed to be experiencing this. I can’t. I have too much to lose. I don’t have the time for a relationship. I don’t…

Have any more excuses. I’m out of them, completely and utterly excuseless, because if I’m being honest with myself, they’re lame as shit anyway. Icanmake time for Haley—hell, I already have! I can do this. I can make something in my life workfor me. Haley trusts me. She looks at me like I’m…well, fuck,me.Clearly she’s attracted to me. So, why not? I’m an adult, and I’ll do as I damn well please!

But what about—no. Fuck off, inner self. You’re sad and pathetic and full of nonsense I’m not in the mood to hear. Adult. Adult. Adult!

“Haley?”

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