Page 55 of Here's to Now

She nods shyly, wringing her hands together in front of her.

“What’s going on, Haley? Why after six long-ass months of silence do you call me?Me?”

“Rae’s moving out.”

“I know.”

“It’s my fault.”

“I know,” I tell her.

Her features fall. It’s hurtful, I know, but it’s also the truth. Haley lied to Rae her entire life, let her believe something traumatic didn’t happen, that it was all just a nightmare, only it wasn’t a nightmare; it was reality.

The nightmare? Their mom tried to drown Rae when she was a kid before committing suicide.

The reality? It wasn’t a dream.

Up until recently she thought the drowning was just a horrible dream and completely blocked that day from her mind, sometimes having a nightmare that mirrored what had actually happened. Haley, and their father, let Rae believe it was fake.

While it’s partially okay because it kept a bad memory of their mom locked away, Rae spent too many years furious with her mother for taking her own life and never knowing just how sick she was because it was kept from her.That’sthe part that hurts Rae the most.

Now all the anger that was once directed at her mother has seeped its way into her relationship with Haley. I get it, can see where Rae is coming from. To be lied to by your family for all that time has to hurt. I can’t blame her for being upset.

Haley was wrong, and she knows it.

“Today was hard, and I wanted someone here with me.”

“So you called me? After you shut me out?”

“You make me feel the best, Gaige.”

Her words hit me hard, because I canfeelthe desperation in them. She wants to feel better, to feel normal again. I want that too, and I know the way to get that back is through Haley. She’s the only one who’s ever given me that.

“Can we pretend? Just for the tonight?”

“Pretend?”

“That it’s just like it used to be.”

I sigh. “If that’s what you want.”

Her eyes dart off to the side, and I know in my gut she’s about to lie, that no matter how much she thinks she believes what she’s saying, it’s false. “It is.”

“Fine. We’ll pretend. Go get dressed, and we’ll go grab something to eat like normal people who haven’t spent the last six months in some sort of friendship purgatory. You don’t have anything here that won’t take forever to make other than chocolate, chips, and frozen pizzas, and I’m starving.”

She doesn’t move, just stands there staring at me like she’s waiting for me to do or say something else. It reminds me of waiting for the microwave to finish popping the popcorn. You’re standing there, watching and counting the seconds between the last few pops, hoping to press the stop button before you burn your snack. It’s almost as if it’s a game, getting to the button in time.

Only I’m not sure I’m winning right now.

“Are…” She pauses, her eyes darting to the side, chest heaving as she sucks in air. Her gaze is filled with tears when she glances back at me again. I start to take a step toward her but second-guess myself. I can’t keep running to her at the sight of her tears. I’ve never been that man before and I won’t be him now. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

At my answer, she abruptly spins and heads back to her bedroom.

I release the tension rolling through my body and drop my elbows to the countertop, my head falling into my hands. I groan, pulling at my hair and scrubbing my head hard.Fuck.She’s so annoying, irritating, frustrating…ly sexy. And beautiful. Smart, charismatic, engaging.Shit!I can’t even be properly annoyed with her right now.

Even more so, I’m annoyed with myself. This entire thing started as nothing but a friendship, a genuine, quiet, peaceful friendship. Every moment together now feels like a test, a challenge I’m not up to.

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