Page 120 of Here's to Now

“Is that why you never came home?”

I nod. “That, and I wasn’t sure if you wanted me here.”

“I wasn’t sure either.”

“Fair enough.” I wave my hand. “Shall we?”

Haley inserts the key and twists the handle, leading us both into the apartment that’s been my sanctuary for the last year and a half.

We step into the living room. It’s quiet and cold. Somehow that homey feel that’s always brightened my day has been stripped from the room. She places her bag down and heads for the kitchen. I don’t follow, unable to take my eyes off the couch. Something’s different…

“I bought a cover for it.”

“A cover? What? Why?”

She fiddles with the glass of ice water in her hands. “Because any time I sat down on it, I’d cry. Every moment spent wrapped in your arms would assault all my senses. All those nights spent together watching TV, the way you’d drape your arm over me and hold me against you like you were protecting me. How you’d let me put my head in your lap and I’d force you to play with my hair through movie after movie. The way we could spend hours upon hours just lying together, not talking, not kissing, just being there. Then I’d remember the way we made love. I couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. So, I covered it up.”

“Did it help?”

Taking her eyes off the cup she places on the table, she stares at me. “Not one bit.”

I don’t know what causes it, her stare or her voice, but I rush to her, enfolding her in my embrace. Tilting her chin up, I kiss her. I kiss away the sadness lingering inside her. I kiss away the frustrations. I kiss away the doubts. Then I kiss her with my apologies, with my expressions of love. I kiss her with my fucking soul and hope and pray she can feel it.

I don’t take her to the bedroom; no, I lead her to the couch, breaking apart long enough to strip off the cover. She gasps when I swiftly lift her off her feet and lay her across the bare cushions.

“Let’s make new memories.”

Fitting myself over her, I shower her with kisses, across her cheek, down her neck, and right down to the V of her shirt. Annoyed with having to stop my descent, I peel off her shirt before she even knows what I’ve begun to do. Another gasp, another arch upward. I kiss a path down her chest and pull the cups of her bra aside. This time it’s me who groans when my mouth covers her bare nipple.

My hands find the button of her pants, snapping them open so she can shimmy out of them. She gets my hint and quickly pushes them off. I take my lips from her body just long enough to pull my shirt over my head and unbutton my own jeans. Our actions turn frenzied until we’re both bare and I’m sliding into her.

Then somewhere along the way, we slow it down. I’m barely moving inside her as I kiss her over and over, wiping away the tears she’s shedding. They don’t freak me out because I’m hardly holding my own back.

Between the sweat, the moans and groans, and the soft thrusts, we find our way back to each other.

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