Page 103 of Here's to Now

We never made it to my aunt’s. I called the kids once we pulled into Haley’s apartment lot and told them I couldn’t make it. They understood, but were clearly disappointed. I felt bad, and then my wife kissed me. It was all I could focus on.

After three full days of marriage, we’re finally getting around to discussing our living arrangement—you know, because we’ve basically spent the last three days in bed any time we’re not at work.

And it’s been fucking magical.

Sex is great. It always has been. It’s always felt good and has been something I enjoyed.

But I’ve neverlovedsex. Now, I do. I feel it in a way I never have before.

In my head.

In my heart.

In my soul.

And it’s all because of Haley.

Even when we were just friends, she did something to me. When we started sleeping together, she did a little something more. When we became official, another piece of my hard exterior was chiseled away. But when we got married? She might as well have taken C-4, carefully stuck it to the remainder of the wall I wore, and blown that fucker to bits, because only then did I finally feel free.

“Are you sure you’re okay with moving in here, or do you want to look for something of our own?”

“I can always move in here for the time being and then we can look for something new later on.”

A small voice nags at me. Us needing a bigger space is inevitable if everything goes as planned with the kids.

Okay, hold the phone. I know what you’re thinking here.Why haven’t you told Haley about your plans?Because I don’t want to jinx them, or even worse, get her hopes up—getmyhopes up. I can’t handle a disappointment of that magnitude. So, I’m keeping quiet until I’m certain things are leaning my way.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

“Hey, Gaige?”

I lift my face from the bowl of ice cream I’m currently working my way through. “Hmm?”

“How come you never told me about your siblings?”

“How come you never told me about your cancer?”

“Ouch.”

I grimace and give her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

She nods and focuses her attention on her own bowl of ice cream. Her lips purse together like they do when she’s concentrating extra hard. Pushing around her rapidly melting bowl of Rocky Road, she sighs.

“It’s not something I like to focus on. It doesn’t define me, you know? It’s a part of me, or at least it was, but it’s notme.I don’t see why it matters.”

“Probably because you can’t have children.”

“I never said that. I said it’d be a damn near miracle if I carried to full term.”

“Haley.”

“Gaige. Really. I just want to move on from it, and I have. That’s why I don’t dwell on it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she promises. “Now, your siblings?”

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