Page 100 of Here's to Now

When no one else makes a noise or even moves, Rae swings her eyes toward us as we sit together, waiting. It reminds me of the time the sky turned yellow and I waited with my parents in the bathroom for the tornado to pass. There was a tiny window where I could see the swirling clouds turn the gray, dreary sky into a vivid green-yellow. It was ugly, and so beautiful; it was also terrifying, but I couldn’t look away. I was ensnared. I wanted to know what was going to happen next. I wanted to know if the sky was going to open up for the rain to fall, fall, fall until it released all its anger and the storm faded away, or if a violent tornado was going to tear through my life and take away everything I had.

Sitting here as Rae’s eyes fall to our joined hands resting atop Haley’s shoulder, watching as she carefully scans our fingers until she sees two simple gold bands among the bundle, a storm is brewing, and we are all just waiting for it to pass.

Then, the sky rips apart, and Rae’s tears begin to fall.

Relief floods through me, knowing a tornado isn’t coming.

For several minutes, she cries. We all sit, stunned, shifting uncomfortably. Hudson is the only one to approach her, to wrap his arms around her and whisper encouraging words.

After what seems like a flood for the history books, her bright, red-rimmed eyes meet mine, and then they flash to Haley’s. Rae rises, and I’m certain she’s going to run. Instead, she calmly walks around the table to us and holds out her arms.

Haley, whose mouth hangs wide open, lifts herself from her chair and falls into her sister’s embrace. They cry some more and say things I can barely understand, but they aren’t screaming or fighting, so I suppose it’s good. Rae squeezes her eyes shut, then opens them, staring directly at me. I can’t tell if she’s happy or upset; honestly, either one scares me. When they finally pull apart, Rae leans down and points a finger in my face.

“You’re a jerk, a dumbass, and now my brother-in-law. I love you, but if you ever hide anything from me again, I will chop your nuts off and feed them to Tucker.”

“Hey! What the shit? I don’t want his nuts in my mouth!”

Tucker’s outburst dispels the tension in the group and everyone laughs, picking up their forgotten silverware and pushing through their now lukewarm meals. Rae gives Haley one last look and returns to her side of the table, leaning down to speak with Hudson. He nods, shoots me a glance, and excuses them both.

“Well that was…”

“Awkward,” Dallas finishes.

“You can say that again,” Perry chimes in.

“Awkward.”

Perry glares in Dallas’ direction, and Dallas responds with a smirk.

Huh, wonder what’s going on there.

“Are you two going to stay married?”

The question shocks me, especially since it comes from Maura. I peek at Haley, who’s looking at Maura in disbelief, and then I find Tucker’s face. He too is surprised by Maura’s question.

“Babe”—he clears his throat—“that was kind of rude.”

“Sorry,” she says sheepishly. “It’s a valid question though.”

“Not really,” Haley speaks up. “Why wouldn’t we?”

Maura’s eyebrows fall together. “Wasn’t this one of those ‘I got drunk in Vegas and all I got was this crappy marriage’ things? I mean, you’re notreallyready for marriage…are you?”

Tucker places his hand on Maura’s arm like he’s trying to reel her questions back in.

“Yes,” my wife says. “Is it traditional? No, but love isn’t always hearts and flowers and shiny shit. Love is unpredictable. Love is adventurous. Love is…us.”

“Oh gag me.”

“That can be arranged,” I hear Dallas mutter in response to Perry’s comment.

I choke on a laugh, trying to keep my face straight and keep focused on Maura and what’s going on.

“We have no plans of annulling this marriage and pretending it never happened,” Haley presses on. “Or divorcing.” She turns to me. “I don’t believe in divorce, by the way.”

“Noted,” I tell her.

“How are you going to make it work? What happens if something comes up that you don’t agree on? What if you aren’t as good a match as you think? If your two halves don’t make a whole?”

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