Page 52 of A Taste of Grace

“So when you’re under the sheets, what happens?” Hannah, who was usually quiet, was the one asking most of the questions.

I took extra time placing the heart-shaped yellow barrettes on the ends of her hair as I contemplated my answer.

“Daddy and I will love each other so much that he will transfer his special seeds to me, and a baby will grow. It has to happen at a certain time in a special way.”

“Like the stork?” Esther asked.

“No. This is a special connection between a mommy and a daddy.”

“So, you can’t have a baby until you’re married?”

Oh, boy.

“Not always. Your daddy and I think it will be better for everyone if we wait to be married before we start playing together like that.”

“What about kissing outside the sheets? Can you have a baby like that too?”

“No, pumpkin, but if you do a lot of kissing, it could lead to the sheets. Then the baby might come.”

Hannah and Esther remained silent as I finished their hair and zipped them into their dresses.

“May we watch TV?” Hannah asked.

I nodded then went to the guest bedroom to get ready.

As I slipped on my support wear and pantyhose, I paid attention to the curves, dips, and marks on my body. I worked out several times a week but still have a little pouch in front that stuck out if I didn’t wear the proper undergarments. I also had a dark, quarter-sized birthmark on the right side of my breast that disrupted the smoothness of my skin. The small stretch marks on the side of my stomach weren’t cute either.

Dang, being a woman with a real woman’s body was no joke. No matter how kind Caleb was, did he expect me to be flawless when I was naked? I finished getting dressed and examined myself.

My outward presentation was meticulous today. The flowing white A-line dress with the faintly painted pastel flowers on the base of the skirt matched the yellow and pink rose-themed dresses, tights, and barrettes I bought for the girls. My thin belt cinched my waist perfectly, and I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect hair day.

“Hey, Grace.” Caleb knocked on the door.

“Come in.” I faced the door and smiled hard when he walked toward me.

When Caleb asked if I wanted to have kids with him, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. Over the past few weeks, I’d prayed about our little family and wanted to expand it if God allowed. My daily interactions with Hannah, Esther, and Caleb brought joy to me that I never expected. Collectively, they awakened a dormant desire for me to be a good mother to all the children He would bless Caleb and me with.

My concern was my reproductive history. No woman in my family had a healthy first pregnancy. I didn’t want to say it out loud, but I worried that I would be barren too. Would that turn Caleb off? I was a coward for not mentioning it sooner, but the wedding and engagement announcement were overwhelming enough.

When Caleb prayed for my body and reproductive health, I cried. I appreciated his consideration of my reproductive desires. He truly was a Man of God who flowed in the Spirit.

“You’re going to make me mess up my makeup. I want to look perfect today.” I dabbed the corners of my eyes with the white handkerchief on the dresser.

“You are perfect no matter how you look. Just be yourself. Finish up here, and I’ll usher the girls to the car. You good?”

I nodded.

“Okay. See you outside.”

I was silent during the ride to church. As always, the girls sang and talked nonstop. Caleb seemed to sense my nervousness because he periodically rested his hand on my covered leg.

“You good?” He asked the familiar question with a gentle squeeze to my knee.

“I am.”

I took a deep breath and focused on the landscape, which transitioned from farmland and back roads to commercial properties then retail shops. Haven of Hope and Blessings was located a couple of miles from a busy intersection, so the change in scenery reminded me of the changes that would be official within a couple of hours. When we pulled up to the reserved spot outside the administrative office, Caleb turned off the ignition and faced the three of us.

“After church, everyone will know Grace will be your mommy. Remember that it’s a surprise until I tell everyone, okay?”

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