Page 28 of A Taste of Grace

“It’s my pleasure to assist as I can. I may not be their mother, but I told them I would be their friend. To do that, I need to know you all better. Tell me whoyouare, Caleb.” Grace reached for me and squeezed my hand.

When she touched me, I sensed her nurturing spirit. Like the girls, I wanted to reveal my truth too.

“I never wanted to raise my children without a mother. I do the best I can to be there for them, but the older they get, the more I realize I am not enough. I want a wife and mother for them as much as they want a mother. I pray for her to come and believe that even if she doesn’t love me fully, it will be enough for her to respect and adore my girls.”

“Do you have any candidates?”

I stared at Grace in disbelief, wondering if she was serious. Hadn’t she picked up on how attracted I was to her?

“Do you want me to answer truthfully?”

“Of course, I do.”

The sincerity in her voice strummed parts of my heart that hadn’t been touched in years.

“When a woman like you enters my life and pays attention to my girls, I pay attention to you. I’m not selfish enough to want companionship only for me. That’s why I want to know more about who you are. You stand out, and you are worth knowing since my girls already adore you.”

Grace blushed and nodded. She readjusted the throw over her legs before meeting my eyes.

“Well…I’m Dr. Gracelyn Toliver, an only child from a country town in Alabama. I lived in DC after graduating from Tuskegee University. I was an Office of Educational Innovation and Strategy employee until last year. I was at the top of my field, a data analyst who oversaw a department of fifty employees before my unit was shut down by the government. My mother died a month and two weeks ago. I turned forty a day after I buried her. It was a really dark time for me, so I moved to Farmerton. I live in a house owned by my Uncle Keith.”

Grace spoke matter-of-factly, as if she was reading a script. I could tell how much courage it took for her to share her story, so I wouldn’t press her for more details right now.

“Smart and pretty? Man…” I reached for her hand and kissed it.

She giggled but maintained her focus on my eyes.

“Thank you for sharing. Are you okay now?” I asked.

“Yes. I was thinking about Hannah and Esther and how much it means to have a mother. I can’t imagine being as young as they are and hungering for something they know is good but is out of their reach. I want them to have their hearts’ desires so they can be headstrong and independent without fear. I wouldn’t be who I am without my mother’s influence. They deserve that chance too.”

“I love that you see that in them. That shows me your heart. That’s why I want to elaborate on my stance about marriage.”

Grace squirmed, but I continued.

“Man was not meant to be alone. I know that better than anyone. Before I was a pastor, I was one of the whorish men you could meet. A few years back, I made a commitment to honor God in every area of my life, especially my body. I will only court the woman I plan to marry. No more dating to date. Nopremarital sex. It is too tempting.” I pointed to the Bible study notes. “That means I’ll be firm and fast when I meet my bride. Once my wife-to-be and I know we are committed to each other, I’m puttin’ a ring on it…expeditiously.”

“So the fact that I’m all snuggled up with you on your couch means…” Grace spoke the words almost in a whisper.

“That you are a viable candidate.”

Her hands gravitated to her chest.

“My goodness. Do you act like this with everycandidate?”

“There are no other candidates.”

“Oh.” Grace looked at her watch again and cleared her throat. “It’s getting really late.”

Grace’s deflection signaled to me that I might be saying too much too soon. I rose, and Grace did too. She folded the throw that covered her legs, watching me with intense eyes.

“Are you good?”

I needed to hear her say she was okay.

“I am. And Caleb?”

“Yes, Grace?”

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