Page 75 of A Taste of Grace

Grace wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded.

“Thanks for saying that.”

Before dinner, we went to the local playground and wore the girls out. That night, before they drifted off to sleep, they huddled around Grace.

“Are you going to stay with us?” Hannah asked.

“I don’t want you to leave, Mommy Grace.” Esther’s pouty lips pulled at my heartstrings.

I knew these questions came from Madeline’s abandonment. I hated that the girls still felt unstable, even after Grace brought such love and stability to our home.

“I’m realer than real…feel.” Grace extended an arm in front of each girl as they sat on the edge of their matching twin beds.

They each squeezed her arms and smiled.

“Yep, she’s real.” Hannah nodded at Esther, who nodded right back.

“Time for bed.” Grace’s kind voice filled the room.

Esther rubbed her little eyes. Both kids got on their knees to pray.

Short of being in Grace’s hot folds, this was by far my favorite time of day.

“God bless Mommy Grace and Daddy and all the people in the world. Thank you for making us a happy family. Please give us a little brother for Christmas. Amen.” Esther’s strong voice rang through the room.

“Amen,” I said with gusto, amused that when Esther led nightly prayers, she always prayed for a brother.

Grace remained silent and avoided my eyes. I tucked them into their respective beds before Grace and I kissed the top of their little foreheads. I checked the frog nightlight under the window. When we turned off the light, it flickered, casting a circle of lime green light in the space.

“Night night. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

Faint “okays” filled the room before I closed the door.

In the hallway, I gestured in the direction of my office.

“I’m going to work on tomorrow’s sermon.”

“Mind if I keep you company?”

“Of course.”

I smiled and quickened my steps toward my larger-than-average home office in the front of the house.

My mind lingered on the girls. I hated that Hannah and Esther clung to Grace like Velcro, often acting like she was going to leave them. She couldn’t even go to the grocery store without them asking if she was coming back. I wanted to find new ways to assure them that Grace was here to stay. That was why I did everything in my power to make Grace happy, even paying her.

Grace moved to the corner of the office I set up for her two weekends ago. She wasn’t a complainer by nature, but I noticed her weariness when she typed at the kitchen table or in bed. I wanted her to have a designated space where she could perfect her craft. We selected a standing desk and an ergonomic chair that she said felt like heaven. We angled her work station, so she had a clear view of the backyard behind my desk.

Although I had studied the Bible, read, or written notes for my sermons and engagements in solitude for years, Grace’s quiet presence in my office always comforted me, reminding me of God’s faithfulness and love.

As was our habit, she made a beeline to her desk, opening her laptop, and writing almost immediately. Since she had her headphones on, I turned on music in the small speaker on my mahogany desk. The low hum of instrumental gospel music filled the air.

I set up my workspace, pulling out several big Bibles along with a silver fountain pen over a legal pad. I put on my glasses and found the passages I needed, looking up the Hebrew and Greek origins of words in select scriptures. After an hour, I took off my reading glasses, noticing that Grace stared at me.

“What is it?”

“You bring such consistency to our household. Next to the definition of stable in the dictionary would be a picture of you, front and center every time.”

Emotion filled her kind voice.

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