Page 40 of A Taste of Grace

He finally released me then brushed his thumb over my lips before staring into my eyes with intensity that had me wondering how it would feel to take our physical attraction to another level.

I rested my hands on his shoulders.

“I want you,” I spoke the words boldly, not fully understanding what that might look like for us, given Caleb’s belief about celibacy. “You prayed for me today, and I wanted to jump your bones. Please forgive me for being so bold, but I need you to know how attracted I am to you. It’s only fair given your beliefs.”

“Would you give your body to me if I asked you to?”

“Yes.”

“What would you want in return?”

“I don’t know…respect…friendship…companionship.”

Caleb placed his hands behind my neck and kissed my forehead.

“I want you too. More than you know.” He spoke the words in a raspy voice. “But I can’t have you.”

I sighed heavily, my shoulders drooping.

“I know.”

“Unless…”

I smoothed the sides of my dress down with my hands and held my breath.

“Unless what?”

“I married you.”

I stepped back and rested the tips of my fingers on my lips, lowering my eyes to the worn wood of the deck as I slowly processed Caleb’s words.

Thirty days.

The time that came to me at church returned. I stepped and paced, periodically meeting Caleb’s eyes as he watched me. The ball was in my court.

“I will marry you after a thirty-day courtship. I get to know you, then decide if this is something we want to do.”

Caleb shook his head.

“I can’t date for thirty days in the open and then break it off with you publicly. I already have a reputation.”

I frowned.

“What kind of reputation?” I scratched my cheek, wondering how much I didn’t know about Caleb.

“Ladies kind of throw themselves at me.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. Caleb was an attractive man, so that didn’t surprise me.

“I picked that up from what the girls told me.”

“It’s more than that.”

“What does that mean?” I asked the question in a low voice, afraid to hear the answer.

“My daddy and I messed around with the same woman, and word got out.”

My eyes widened.

---