Page 75 of This Violent Light
“There isn’t another way,” I say. It’s true. Heknowsit’s true.
“Even if there’s not,” he says quietly. “Say the word, Grace. I’ll get you out of here. I promise.”
I swallow. It’s everything I hoped he would say, and yet, it’s no longer what I want. I’ve spent months training, learning. And while there are many things I would change about my time in this manor, there are certain things I wouldn’t. I am stronger now than I used to be, and despite everything else, I know I can do this. I can break this curse—not just for Sebastian, but for every vampire in this strange world.
“When I break the curse,” I say. Ignoring his surprised expression, I take his hand in mine. “I want you to turn me. I like who I am here, Sebastian. I’m important. Smart. Capable.”
“You have always been those things, Grace. You always will be,” he says. “You don’t need to be here for that to be true.”
“I mean it,” I say, shaking my head. “If you’ll have me, I want to stay.”
“I have never wantedanythingquite like I want you, Grace Renolds,” he whispers.
“Is that a yes?” I ask. “You’ll bite me? Make me one of your own?”
“We turn people with venom. Make them ingest it,” he says, swallowing. His eyes flicker to my lips, pupils expanding. “I’ll feed you my venom, if that’s what you want, Grace. I’ll turn you. I’ll do whatever you want.”
I kiss him, knowing his inner circle can see us. Knowing they’re judging us and not caring that they are.
“Let’s end this,” I say, finally pulling back. I even manage a teasing smile. “You can give me everything I want after it’s over.”
Sebastian kisses me again, and together, we enter the auditorium.
Through the auditorium windows,the full moon shines between wispy clouds. I stare at the glowing orb, bright as any sun, while Sebastian and Cora go over the ritual once more. The inner circle left shortly after we arrived, and now, they stand outside, beneath the windows, surrounded by multiple unfamiliar vampires. They’re all watching, all serving as a reminder. This ritual doesn’t just affect me or Sebastian or his favored followers. It affects an entire species.
They’re all desperate for change, and I’m the only one who can give it. Once I do, my life will officially be my own again. Now, I just have to survive the ritual, break the curse, and find my new beginning.
“I’m ready,” I say. My voice shakes, but I’m more confident than I’ve felt in weeks.
I am strong,I remind myself.I can do this.
“Then let’s begin,” Cora says. She gestures for Sebastian to join her outside of the circle, but he doesn’t move. His hand tightens over my shirt, as if anchoring himself to me.
“If she says to stop, you do,” he says, looking at Cora. “Immediately. Do you understand?”
Cora lifts an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Fine,” she agrees. Her dark eyes shift to mine.
I bite down, grating my teeth together. I can feel my heartbeat everywhere, radiating through my organs and veins and bones.
I will keep you safe.
I let myself believe the words.
I nod at Sebastian and step out of his hold. He takes the dagger from the podium, holding it for me like an offering. I take it wordlessly. My pale face is reflected in the blade, and I have to look away before my nerves consume me whole.
“Say the word,” he reminds me. Then, he’s gone in a flash too fast for me to follow. He stands at Cora’s side with an unreadable expression, eyes locked on me.
“Focus on your magic,” Cora says. “Once I signal you, cut your wrist, but keep casting. I should be able to channel your power as long as you’re conscious.”
“Got it,” I say. My head is dizzy, riddled with nerves, but I force myself to look at the watching vampires again. I know all too well what it is to be trapped in this manor. If I succeed, I won’t be the only one finding freedom.
“And you,” she says, glaring at Sebastian. “Stay out of my way and out of this circle.”
A solemn nod. He’s still looking at me.
Cora lifts her hands. She’s always made magic look effortless, so I’m surprised by the way her fingers tremble. Her eyes glaze as she speaks a string of unfamiliar words.They’re of another language, I realize, one I don’t recognize.
