Damnation, what was in that elixir they kept pouring down his throat? It appeared to treat every aspect of a man. He knew elder statesmen who would kill for it. Personally, Brandth could do without the aid, given he was lying there with nothing but a sheet over his privates. The idea of an audience helping to quell things.

“My angel has returned, bringing me sustenance.” He hid a smile, as Perri heaved a small sigh. Why, he could almost hear her rolling her eyes. Hah, he did so love to prod her.

“I hope you like fruit. It was all they had left.”

“A bowl of fruit salad drizzled with honey and a little custard would be a fine treat.” He held out his hands for the bowl and spoon. Given the way Perri had fed him this morning, he no longer trusted her in his vicinity with cutlery. For his trouble something cool and pliable was slapped into his hand. “What’s this… a banana?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… is there anything else?” Brandth quickly placed the offensive food down on the bed, pushing it away. “Had a nasty experience once in a little town west of Kelmboarth with bananas, too much rum, and an eating competition. I swore never again.”

“Well, then we might be facing a small dilemma.”

Was that a tinge of amusement in her tone? “You brought me nothing to eat but bananas?”

“I’ll make up for it with a hearty dinner. In the meantime, a banana won’t hurt you.”

“I’d rather starve.”

“Staying hydrated and eating regularly is very important when it comes to healing. Besides, thanks to trial and error, we’ve discovered that eating just prior to taking your medicine helps it… stay down.”

“You’re no saleswoman.” Brandth shuddered at the idea of consuming bananas and the dreaded healing elixir in one sitting. He’d rather lick a funk toad. “I believe I shall wait upon your promised dinner. In fact, give me two helpings of something tasty this evening and we’ll call things even.”

“And your medicine?”

He wasn’t fooled by that sweet tone she’d affected. But he was a desperate man, clamping his lips together, mumbling between them. “I’ll drink down two lots this evening to make up for my omission…. Ow!” Why did she always go for his nose? Clamping down on it like her fingers were steel talons. Chomping down he was displeased to note the large piece of banana suddenly assailing his tongue. Yuk, the taste, the texture, the smell… it brought back too many memories, making his stomach roil.

“You’re worse than a fussy infant.”

He forced down the mouthful. “You’re… Ow.” His nose was clamped once more, he tried not to bite down but it was reflex, finding himself with another mouthful of banana. Gulp. “… an evil, evil… Ugh.” And a third mouthful of the dreaded fruit was shoved into his mouth. Bah. “Gods, woman… the taste… my kingdom for a cup of tea.” He heard her sigh, but was too busy grabbing for the cup she’d placed in his hands to care that she not a fan of his dramatics. Anything was better than the current taste in his mouth. He swilled the tea… except it wasn’t tea. “Awgh. Bah.” Another cup was thrust into his hand, desperate, he swallowed the contents. Ah, blessed water, gulping it down, yet still the medicinal taste lingered.

“You should see the expression on your face.”

“Laugh all you like healer harridan, but I shan’t be chained to this bed forever. Once I’m up and about, retribution shall be mine.”

“Ohhh, I’m all a tremble. Here… this might help with the taste.”

A banana was slapped into Brandth’s hand. Dreadful woman, dreadful fruit. Still, Brandth found himself hurriedly peeling the cruddy thing and devouring it readily, anything to remove the nasty lingering taste of that most foul elixir.

As he chomped down on the soft fruit, he listened to Perri move away, her shoes striking the cobblestones in a soft familiar patter, accompanied by the trill of her merriment. Ohhh, that woman, she needed to be taught a lesson… and perhaps he was just the man for the role.

With nothing better to do, Brandth idled his afternoon away thinking up more and more elaborate ways to wreck vengeance on his nemesis… although it was a little disconcerting to discover the pathways his clearly still addled brain took… as in more than one scenario the two of them would find themselves in tight enough quarters that Perri’s full breasts rested against his chest once more, teasing words whispered directly into his ear…. Honestly, what was in that elixir?

* * *

Keeping her female kin from Lord Brandth De’Luca’s bedside was as futile as trying to keep the ocean from the shore. Their hovering in large groups at the entrance starting to make life difficult for the infirmary staff. It appeared someone had loose lips, Perri’s ruse to have letters written to Brandth had been undermined by the news having gotten out that he was temporarily without the ability to read.

In a desperate bid to bring order and quiet before Master Healer Mary took matters into her own hands, Perri had issued some strict visitation rules. They must line up in single file, awaiting their turn. They would each be allowed five minutes. They must speak quietly, careful not to disturb the other patients. And when the timer chimed, they must leave promptly.

Perri had checked with Brandth before implementing her plan. Unsurprisingly, it met with his hearty approval. She suspected he was bored, although given his ego he probably just missed being fawned and gushed over.

This was going to be painful to witness. But stay nearby she must. Perri had promised Mary that she would watch over Brandth personally. Although thankfully there was a work bench positioned ten feet away from his bed where she could keep busy mixing elixirs and poultices. And those medicinal smells might go some way towards dispelling the clouds of perfume her kin had drenched themselves in.

At first Perri made a determined effort not to eavesdrop. She was not interested in hearing her kin gush and wax lyrical about Brandth’s looks or his wit, as they unashamedly flirted with him. Keeping her attention instead fixed firmly upon the ingredients and herbs before her, rather than witness her sisters, cousins and nieces fuss over his bedcovers, using it as an excuse to pat his muscular chest, or brush back his silky overlong locks.

Problem was though, Perri’s work wasn’t holding her full attention. Was she making a headache powder or a burn balm? Why was cousin Impedera carrying a large painting? Okay, this she had to see. Turning, frowning, watching as Impedera sat down at Brandth’s bedside and began describing in great detail the composition of her painting. A rather bland garden scene in Perri’s opinion, but the way her cousin described it, you would have thought the Imperial Pallene University gladly would have hung it in their main hall.

And did Brandth mock or discourage Impedera in any way? No. He acted and sounded fascinated by her artistic endeavours. How uncharacteristic of him. What game was he playing?