Page 22 of My Soul Is His

I pull up my shirt and glance at my skin. Marked by a lifetime of emotions, a landscape of pain is etched onto my flesh. A network of scars, each a pale, raised line whispering tales of torment. It’s astonishing how he tolerated my flaws for so long.

As I press the jagged piece of rock against my arm, it takes force, but soon the blissful agony fills me. Blood drips, and for a moment I am able to breathe.

For a few minutes, I can pretend my world hasn’t broken, that my other half hasn’t been overtaken by the demons.

A world without Sebastian isn’t for me. My mother would call me a weak, worthless person, needing someone else to be whole. Her words don’t ring in my ears anymore since his selfless act, but the sorrow that has followed me my entire life will haunt me more than anything.

I vowed to love him for all time, a promise etched into my soul, unshakeable and true. For the rest of my days, I’ll hold on to the need for him. The nickname, a sweet whisper that I long to hear again.

Just as I approach the chair to continue slicing my skin, a loud bang on the door shatters the silence. I shove the tool in mypocket and wrap a rag around my arm. Cuts and gashes are a gruesome, familiar sight here in Cavum Terra.

With hesitation, I reach the weathered wood, its grain rough beneath my fingertips as I pull it back. The three Lords, imposing figures in their rich velvet robes, stand before me.

“Hello.”

“Marla,” Berimund says, “we have an offer. I know you’ve been trying to reach us, and I apologize for our lack of communication.”

I push my hand through my tresses before gesturing toward the house, inviting them in. They all walk forward and take a seat. Their existence seems too powerful in our rickety dwelling.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

Giso smiles at me, her long blonde hair braided. “You’ve done marvelous work here in the realm. Throughout the millennia of our presence here, never have we seen someone working with others to provide comfort and community.”

“It seemed like the right thing to do, no one left behind. Chloe and Sid have taken the responsibility on the other side of the realm,” I say.

“We’re aware. They’ve trained more teams to do the same. You’ve created a legacy. Sebastian, too. Treating everyone who took their own life with respect and compassion. It is endearing, it’s something we admire,” Tanca says.

The mention of Sebastian’s name clenches my heart with a familiar ache, but I must listen to this offer. If it will restore him, I’ll give them anything they desire, no matter the cost.

“Also, you’ve served a millennium here. It’s not in the rule book, but once a soul has proven they have what it takes not only to be resistant, but resilient against everything thrown at them, they are rewarded.” Berimund leans back in the chair and smiles at me.

“If you lead with that, people might actually try harder,” I say.

“Well, maybe. However, not everyone can be like you two. Showing the path to others, making sure no one is alone and letting individuals grow the way they needed to on Earth is a rarity.”

“And?” I’m impatient, but I need to find out what to do in order to save us both.

“There is another realm. It’s better. You’ll both be free of your demons and able to live out the rest of your eternity in Karus Anima,” Berimund tells me.

“Karus Anima?” I arch an eyebrow and wonder how I’ll even get Seb somewhere else.

“It means precious soul. You’ve proven over and over you belong there. Some people you might recognize, but no one who has hurt you in any lifetime will be there,” Giso says.

“Sebastian is lost. He took on my burden, and it consumed him, leaving him a shell of his former self. I don’t know how I’ll get him there. He wants nothing to do with me.” My voice trembles, and a sob escapes.

Giso’s hand wraps around my shoulder. I didn’t even see her rise from the chair. She strokes my arm and stares into my eyes. “It’ll work out if it’s meant to be. For now, this is limited, and we must go.”

Faced with the decision of leaving Sebastian in this hell he stole from me, I stand and follow the Lords.

I pray to any entity listening that he forgives my selfishness and that somehow, somewhere, he finds me again. The weight of my actions is heavy on my chest.

“I’m ready.”

Ten

Sebastian

The world has dissolved into a meaningless blur, and I’m trapped within the confines of my own shattered thoughts. I struggle toward the surface, only to be ripped apart once more.

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