Page 21 of My Soul Is His

The sight of the tall demon fills me with dread. The air itself seems to crackle with its dark energy. Tendrils slither through the forest floor and I hold back my screams. I’ve learned they love the sound. Each time I’ve failed, they seem to be filled with glee and become stronger.

I swallow the emotions bubbling on my tongue and kick out at the sinister fingers reaching for me. I don’t have the leisure to fight my own demons right now when I need to find Sebastian.

Glancing back at the edge of the forest, his tattoos stand out against the dark branches, and I know I have to reach him. Crawling, I shake off the tendrils that try to keep me in place. Out of the corner of my vision, I see my purple demon's fangs smile, and my breath catches in my lungs.

“STOP,” I shout, although it is futile.

Ignoring Depression and Anxiety will never be the answer, but right now, it might be the only thing to save us.I inhale as deep as I can and focus only on the sight ahead of me.

Painful hands run over my back as I scamper across the debris and reach the edge of the forest.

Sebastian isn’t fighting. He leans against a gnarled, ancient tree, its wood soft with decay, eyes unfocused, oblivious to my noisy struggle to stand, the sound of snapping twigs filling the air. He has lost to the claws of the blue monster, stuck in his memories.

“Sebastian?”

It’s as if he can’t hear me. I creep toward him, lowering myself to his level.

“Seb?” My voice is shaky while I walk to him on my knees.

Thunder crashes everywhere. He’s still zoned out even through the kaleidoscope of sounds around us. I place my palm on his knee, squeezing his muscle, but he remains lost. My heart thumps in my ribcage, dizziness spins my world, and I shuffle a touch closer to reach for him again.

In a heartbeat, his dark eyes lock onto mine, and his hand shoots out a forceful grip on my wrist. A low growl rumbles in Sebastian’s chest as he keeps me back. His grasp feels like a vise, and the thought of separation crushes my soul with despair.

Living in eternity without him isn’t possible. I’d crawl through whatever Cavum Terra has for me to reach him. He’s the only constant in my life, the only thing that makes sense in the ever-changing world.

“Go,” he hisses, the words laced with venom, “you’re not wanted here.”

He twists my wrist the wrong way, and a sharp, stabbing agony shoots up to my elbow. I cry out in distress.

“Leave, Marla,” he spits, “love will never be enough. You know that.”

As he looks into my eyes again, his gaze is cold, not the familiar look I remember. The torment is unbearable, and he uses force to push me, which sends me crashing to the forest floor.

When he doesn’t catch me, it cements the idea that we’re done. I’ll love him forever, but without his devotion in return, my heart will wither and die.

“Sebastian, this isn’t you. Let’s go home. We can…”

“Do what, Marla? Play house and pretend everything is fine? You could never love someone like me. Everything's ruined, and love has no place here anymore.”

He glances back at me one last time before sprinting into the shadowy depths of the forest, the sound of his footsteps fading, and I press my injured wrist against my side.

It’s just as my mother told me for years. An icy dread settles in my bones, whispering of failure and inadequacy. The eternal tie we were supposed to have feels like a cruel joke, a love I don’t deserve, a bond forever out of reach.

Standing, I glance into the woods, but I’ve lost track of him. Wandering back to our home seems stupid, but I have nowhere else to go. I’m alone again, likely how I should be.

The agonizing pain I carry has ripped through the lives of everyone around me, but as long as I’m by myself, my suffering will be contained.

I want to believe it’s the demon tearing us apart, but the rumination of my own thoughts strips that theory to shreds.

Reaching the treehouse, a flicker of hope ignites in my chest—maybe Sebastian is waiting behind this familiar door.

When I enter, the silence is deafening, but I still look around for him. Everything is meaningless if we’re not together. It’s all too much, and my body shakes. Tears pour from my eyes. I crumple to the ground, a raw, animalistic sob escaping my lips.

All of my childhood fears have become reality. Everything I’ve lived through and fixed is all for nothing without Sebastian. He’llhold my soul in his hands until the end of time. There is no hope that could save me from myself now.

The pressure on my chest flows throughout my body, limbs tense under the devastation crashing against the jagged pieces of my heart. My home, my anchor, has been stolen from me. The tears falling aren’t enough, and my skin becomes too tight as waves of sorrow torment me.

My muscles scream as I pull myself off the floor, each movement a monumental effort, but I rise and walk to the table, my fingertips tracing the cool wood before finding my hidden weapon. The rock’s sharp edge bites into my fingers as I grip it, a gratefulness washing over me for Sebastian’s persistence in mastering this craft.

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