Page 47 of Holly Freakin' Hughes

Wherewas that attitude when I needed it?

“Scott,is my drink ready?” I asked, and he held up his pointer finger as he continuedto bop his head along to the song blasting through his headphones. My fingerstapped against the barista counter impatiently, when my drumming wasinterrupted by Brandon’s throat clearing.

“Um,so I wanted to talk to you about something, if you’re not busy.” I looked backto him, seeing the smile had faded to give way to something much more serious.Regretfully I told him I was on my way somewhere, and his face fell. “It’sreally important, Holly, and I promise it won’t take long.”

Agood friend would have stayed. A good friend would have listened to him, but Iwasn’t a good friend in that moment. I was a horny friend, one that was sick ofbeing lonely in bed. “Can it wait?”

“Uh… Yeah, sure. I guess so,” he said, attempting to hide his disappointment andfailing miserably. “So, um, where are you going?”

Iblushed at the question. “Well, actually, I went on that date the othernight—the one I told you about—and uh, I’m seeing him again.”

Brandon’sbody grew rigid and his tight jaw worked from side-to-side as a hand went torun through his hair. “So, it went well, huh? You didn’t tell me that.”

“I’mnotobligatedto tell you everything, Brandon,” I unintentionallysnapped at him.

Hisblue eyes widened at my tone. “Okay, that’s fine,” he replied cautiously.“Where is this guy taking you?”

Mycheeks were on fire and I diverted my gaze. “Scott, can you please hurry up?”

Brandongrunted a sarcastic laugh. “Ah, say no more,” he said as he pushed himself awayfrom the barista counter and turned to leave.

Buthe couldn’t just walk away, of course. He had to turn around. He had to openhis mouth—his stupid, beautiful mouth. “I just hope you're not doing somethingstupid simply because you're lonely and want to be with someone. You’re betterthan that."

Ispun around, an anger brewing somewhere deep within. "Better thanwhat?You have no idea who this guy is."

"Oh,and you do?"

Thehypocrisy in the scenario pained me, as my breathing escalated heavily, burningmy lungs with every deep inhale. I glared right up at him with my hands firmlyon my hips. "Well, I sure as hell know more abouthimthan I knewabout you whenwemade out." His eyes widened as his jaw locked,his face reflecting the shock he felt, and the victory pushed me further."Hell, I probably know more about him than Icurrentlyknow aboutyou. I know what he does for a living. I know exactly where he lives. I knowabout his family and his—his, uh, his crockpot. Whatexactlydo I knowabout you? I mean, really, Brandon. If you were going to try and talk me out ofdoing anything with someone, why couldn't it have been us?"

“Holly,”Brandon said in a gravelly voice, his fists clenched as he struggled to speakin a calm tone. “You don’t mean that.”

“Stop.”I thrust my hand up in front of my face, standing my ground. “You have spentthe past several months opening your mouth with your opinions on how I live mylife, and I’ve been listening, but nowyou’regoing to listen tome.You’renotallowed to have an opinion about this. And you willnotmake me feel badly about it, just becauseyouhave chosen to be nothingmore to me thansome guyI sit with a couple times a week.”

Myeyes dropped to the floor, unable to look at how I had made him feel with theambush of words that I never meant to say. I noticed Scott’s headphones hadbeen pulled down to sling around his neck, and he reluctantly handed me the cupof tea I had been waiting a thousand years for. I snatched it from him andshoved past Brandon, keeping my eyes on the floor as I hurried. My flatsplodded hard against the rugs strewn throughout the store, which turned intoconcrete and finally asphalt as I headed to the van. But somewhere during myhurried walk, the anger I had felt dissipated and I was left with gut-retchingguilt for lashing out at him.

Whatthe hell did I just do?

Istopped and considered walking back inside, just as he came out of the storeand started to walk purposefully to his car, his head hanging low.

“Brandon,wait!” I called to him, and I envisioned him ignoring me and leaving withoutsaying anything, just like I had almost done. But the guy was unlike anybodyelse, and he walked towards me.

"I’mso sorry," I said as he leaned against the van. "I didn’t mean that.I don’t even know why I blew up at you like that." I laughed a littlethrough my humiliation. "I’m just nervous about tonight, and—”

Hesighed, cutting me off. "I'm sorry too." He paused, dropping his gazeto the asphalt beneath his feet. "But you did kind of mean what you said,and that’s okay.”

“No!You are so much more than justsome guy, and I shouldn’t—”

“Hey,”he interrupted, turning so that he faced me. His eyes were a deep stormy blue,reflecting his mood accurately. I felt a large hand grab onto one of mine,holding tight as though he were scared to let go. “You’re right in that I madea choice, and I have to live with that.”

“Whatdoes that mean?” I asked, my voice trembling in a hoarse whisper. My eyessearched his face for any hint of an emotion I could grab onto, to decipherwhat he wasn’t saying.

Hisdark blue eyes dropped to the hand he held, and forced a smile. “It means thatI hope you have a good time tonight. I hope you don’t run away from somethingthat could make you happy.” His fingers squeezed gently around mine, his thumbstroking along my knuckles. “And I hope he doesn’t hurt you, because if hedoes, I can’t promise I won’t kill him.”

Idecided then that I wouldn’t go to see Ben if Brandon had just said the word. Iwould have gladly spent the rest of the night sitting with him, doingabsolutely nothing, instead of finally getting much-needed physical attention.All he had to do was tell me not to.

Buthe bent to kiss me on the cheek, gripping my hand all the while, and lingeredfor a moment before standing upright again. He took a deep breath, puffing hischest out, squeezing my hand once more before dropping it on his exhale.

“I,uh—I’ll see you soon,” he said, and walked backward for a pace or two, almostas if he were memorizing the way I looked in that moment, and he turned tohurry off to his car.

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