Page 49 of Holly Freakin' Hughes

Itsounded like maybe a rodent from some faraway arctic land, one that requiredintensive exotic care, and my mind conjured up a veterinary clinic thatspecialized in the strange and unusual. I sniffed a laugh with a little smileat the thought of someone waltzing through the door with a warthog in aharness.

“AChinook,” Ben said in between bites of meatball, “is a dog. One of the rarestbreeds, I think, or at least the last time I checked.”

Andjust like that, my visions of an exotic animal emporium fluttered away. “Oh,that’s cool,” I muttered without enthusiasm, but I smiled nonetheless becauseit seemed to be of some importance to him.

“So,uh, how’s Liz been?” Ben asked, taking a sip of wine.

Ihadn’t expected the conversation to steer towards my sister, but at least itwas something I could talk about without falling asleep. “She’s good. Workingat the dentist’s office.”

Henodded. “I haven’t seen her in … God, it’sgottabeyears. We’re on Facebook, but we don’t reallytalk, you know? So, I waspretty surprised when Mark mentioned setting me up with her sister.”

Thatmade two of us. “How do you know Mark?”

“Iwent to school with his brother. You know Josh?”

Iwobbled my hand in the air, squinting one eye. “I met him at the wedding, but Idon’tknowhim.”

“Oh,yeah, I guess you would have been at the wedding. I was in the weddingparty,” Ben mused with an excited smile.

Itipped my head slightly, trying to place him. “You were? I was the Maid ofHonor. I don’t remember you.”

Hegrimaced with a shake of his head. “Yeah, you probably wouldn’t. I was eighteenand very, um, skinny with black hair.”

Mymouth and eyes opened in shock, remembering the gothic-looking kid who spentthe entire night sulking because he couldn’t legally drink anything.

Ipointed at him across the table. “Oh, my God, Idoremember you,” Ilaughed.

“Yeah,yeah.” He waved my amusement away with his hands. “Anyway, Josh and I wouldhang out after school every now and then. I met Mark one of the times I wasover there, and we really hit it off. Been good friends ever since. He’s agreat guy.” I unintentionally snickered. “Well, to me, anyway.”

Inodded my apologies. “No, I know. It’s just, uh, the history with my sister.I’m a little biased.”

“Oh,yeah, I completely understand. Liz didnotdeserve the shit he put herthrough, that’s for damn sure. He had a good thing with her and he royallyscrewed that up.” Ben rubbed the stubble along his upper lip, drifting offsomewhere away from me. “I always thought he was an idiot for throwing thataway.”

Helooked into the flickering candle flame, hooding his eyes in the light with hisfinger crooked around the curve of his lip. The room filled with silence, asidefrom the gentle snores from the dogs coming from the adjacent living room, andthe awkward atmosphere returned again. I thought about asking where he hadgone, what he was thinking about, but something told me I probably didn’t careto know.

“So,um, anyway, I wanted to ask you a sort of personal question,” he said after afew moments of silence, and I urged him to continue. Anything was better thanthe uncomfortable quiet. “Don’t be offended, but you were with a gay guy forfive years, right? How did younotsuspect anything?” he asked with alaugh that I interpreted as facetious.

“Well,it’s not like it was something I thought to ask,” I stated wryly before takinga long sip of wine. “How do you even know about that?Ididn’t tellyou.”

Heshook his head, reaching across the table to take my hand, and for reasons Icouldn’t understand, an image of Brandon jumped into mind. Ben’s hand enfoldedover mine, gently rubbing his thumb along the ridges in the back of my hand,and I focused on his touch, with hopes that I could erase the notion that itfelt …

Wrong.This is wrong.

“I’msorry. Mark had mentioned it,” he said with sincerity, and I made a mental noteto slaughter Mark. “I was just genuinely curious, but I didn’t realize youwere, uh—”

“Hungup on it?” I asked accusingly. He briefly winced and looked off to the side,shrugging. “I’m not,really,” I insisted, and mostly meaning it. “But Idon’t like talking about it.”

Henodded, looking back to me with those big green eyes. “It isn’t easy to losethe most important person in your life—no matter how you lose them.”

Iwas so embarrassed that he would liken the death of his wife to my break-up,but I managed an appreciative smile. What I couldn’t shake was the thought thatpassed through my mind at his comment. He had referred to Stephen as the “mostimportant person in my life,” and when he said those words, I found myselfchewing on my lip with the nagging feeling that he had been horribly wrong.

Mylip trembled, remembering suddenly that Brandon had wanted to tell me somethingand I had blown him off—and for what? For dinner and meaningless sex with a manI had absolutely nothing in common with?

Myshame and guilt pushed a tear out of my eye, and I wished that Ben hadn’t seenit, but of course he had. In the glow of the candlelight, that one single tearprobably shown like the sun, reflecting the colors of the rainbow off the wallslike thefreakin’ Northern Lights.

Withoutsaying a word, he stood from the table and took my hand, pulling me up from mychair. “Here, it’s okay,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around me.

Hewas so warm and welcoming and instinct told me to wrap my arms around him, andbefore I knew it, my face was buried in his chest, and I shed a few more tears.I allowed Ben to think that I was crying over the loss of my ex-lover, while Iinternally beat myself up over making Brandon feel any less important than hewas.

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